Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sometimes I feel like i am destined to be a kyklopes.

First there was the incident so lovingly referred by some people as the "One Eye, One Skillet, Add Tuna" of 1999. I threw a party at my parents' house while they were in Europe (shocking, I know), I really needed to open that 11th bottle of wine but had misplaced the foil cutters after the 10th. So I thought a steak knife would be a good apparatus to use (read: I was 19 years old). Of course I overzealously knifed the foil top and nearly stabbed myself in the eye, narrowly missing and instead knicked the skin just below it. I allowed Jenn to administer unto me Bactine and a Barbie bandaid and I rejoined the party to make Tuna Helper. Of course.

Then there was the Blocked Gland in My Eyelind Incident of 2003.

And now we find that an act as simple as putting away clean dishes has nearly Kyklopes-rendering ramifications.

On Saturday evening I was about to start dinner, and was putting away clean dishes As I pushed one wine glass onto the top shelf of the cabinet, a martini glass behind it shattered and glass exploded out from the cabinet. I felt something in my eye and immediately ran to the bathroom.


It didn't LOOK like anything, and it didn't particularly hurt as I assume a glass shard would. . Still, not wanting to wait to see if it DID hurt, and with the image of shards of glass flying at my fresh in my mind, I immediately filled the sink with water and plunged my head in with my eyes open, blinking under the water, to make sure any shard or bit of dust or whatever was in there would come out. When I resurfaced I blinked a few times, and whatever had been in there was now gone.* I tried to see if I could find a glass shard in the sink but the more I think about it, the more I think it was a dust ball or something. I called my mom the nurse to be safe and she told me to keep an eye on it (hardy har har!) and if it looked weird or started to feel weird to call her back. But luckily hours past and it is once again right as rain.

So let us review:

Me: 3
Kyklopes: 0


Andy said...

"as well as a hearty speech on the neccessity of going to grad school"

Join me in student i.d. land again! Free pitchers at the Sunset Grill! Time in the city! Learning!

Sarah said...

are you on drugs?

Jenny said...

I like you best as a KYKLOPES!!!!

Nicky said...

Just be careful around Christmas that you don't shoot your eye out, Ralphie.