Saturday in Provence

On a day that is cold and blustery and dark and dreary such as today


gross

There is only one thing left to do...



...Make a fabulous stew!

I got up early this morning and was greeted by a gray day and some wet windowsills. And then I was struck with inspiration. I hit the supermarket before the rain got too bad out. Moments later I left with one big bag of all the fixings needed to create my rainy day cure - Beef Stew Provencale, one of my favorite meals in general but ESPECIALLY a favorite for a cold and dreary day. I thought I would share it here in case you too like to have something splendid on the stove making your home smell delicious on a day like this. The combination of the rich wine and bright orange and earthy cloves just explode with cheerfulness.

Beef Stew Provencale

2 lbs beef (chuck or round is perfect for this) cut into 1 inch pieces.
2 tbsp oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced.
1 14.5 oz can of whole tomatoes
2 cups dry red wine (I find Yellow Tail's Shiraz/Cabernet blend is perfect for this)
The peel from one orange
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp ground cloves
2 bay leaves
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Heat a large dutch oven or pot over medium-high heat. Add 1 tbsp of the oil and 1/2 of the beef. Cook until a little browned on all sides - about 5 minutes. Remove the first batch and repeat with another 1 tbsp of oil and the rest of the beef. Remove the second batch when browned.

Lower heat to medium and throw in your carrots and onions. Cook for 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds, stirring. Add tomatoes and their juice, breaking them with a spoon against the side of the pot. Add the wine and rest of the ingredients. Stir well

Turn heat on high and bring to a boil. Then cover, reduce to low and let simmer slowly for 2.5-3 hours. Your home will begin to smell divine. Do not be alarmed.

Once the time is up, remove the beef and boil the liquid for about 10 minutes to reduce it slightly. Adjust the seasonings to your taste if need me. Add back in the beef and serve with some delicious crusty bread.

If that is not a meal for a dreary day I don't know what is!

The Special of the Day Is Abomination

Adam and I are frequent diner outers.

We have our local favorite restaurants and then every so often we spiral a new place into the rotation to see if it will be one of our regular stops. This spiraling in of new places usually works out quite well but lately it is going horribly wrong. Now, I am not going to tell you which restaurants these abominations occured at because in each case I sent my meal back and it was handled beautifully by the waitstaff/management. And I will also go back to each of these places because I don't think you can judge a retaurant on one experience alone.

But still. Over the past month I have been subjected to the following:

A Lobster and Goat Cheese Pizza that actually had no goat cheese on it and the lobster was so overdone it was like lobster flavored gum.<--- The lobster actually squeaked when chewed.
A Greek Salad that was chock a block with not feta cheese but bleu cheese <--Isn't the feta what makes it Greek?
Crab Cakes laced with and covered in cinnamon <-- an abomination
A Roasted Vegetable Flatbread in which all of the vegetables were brown and indiscernible from each other and it was dripping wet with balsamic vinegar <-- also an abomination
And now last night, I ordered Bruschetta and got literally Texas Toast with a wilted spinach salad on top of it. <-- It was so soggy I had to eat it with a fork

I actually didn't send the bruschetta back because it would have been more trouble than it was worth. But still.

I do want to give a special shout out to the brand new Ledge in Dorchester. We ate there a few weeks ago and while I was served one of the above meals...the service was impeccable and our waitress could not have been nicer. In addition, the manager came over to speak to us, explained what had gone wrong, comped my meal and bought me a drink! That is how you handle this kind of situation! I will definitely go back to Ledge and if you live in the area you should check it out too!

And to be clear, when I send something back its not because I dont really like it. Or it's kind of gross. It's because I literally can't eat it. Even so, having typed it all out I'm sure I look like a brat to dine with. I'm not though, I promise. I am very entertaining. I swear!

So I put it to you, what's the grossest dinner you ever experienced at a restaurant? AND did you send it back or suffer through it.

Keepin' It Real

Our book club met the other night at Eileen's fabulous vintage abode for drinks and discussion of our latest assignment:



Over Pimms Cups and Nicoise Salad we talked about Janie and Jody and Tea Cake and the fabulous life of Zora Neale Hurston in general. Over the past year I have come to LOVE and eagerly await Book Club every month. We looked back in this our 8th month of existance and ruminated on some of the books we have read so far: Wuthering Heights, The Great Gatsby, The Leopard, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Big Sleep. All fine works. All thoroughly enjoyed by each of us.

And then I came home from work last night, eager to relax, and grabbed my new read. Not a book club book, but another fine work nonetheless.



You know I have to keep it real! Can't wait to see what my girl Nene has to say.

(Big ups to Andy for hooking me up!)

Cat Piss Du-Wop

There are many things I love about coming home after a weekend away:
The sight of the sparkling blue ocean we speed past on the way to our apartment.
The relaxing stretch of legs that accompanies landing home after a long drive.
The unmistakable stench of cat piss in the foyer.

Ah yes.

Wait, scratch the last one. I just got caught up in the moment.

You see, we live in a pet free building. A VERY pet free building. Back when I thought having a cat might be a good idea I pleaded with our landlord. Adam and I offered a hefty pet deposit and to put in writing that whatever damages might possibly occur, we would cover. But alas the answer was always no. And as time went by I was almost glad that it WAS no because cats, while darling, stink a little. Well their litter boxes do. Which is something I never noticed as much since growing up we always had an indoor/outdoor cat. You know a cat who hangs out in the house when its shitty out or when it feels like it but also likes going outside for a few hours and usually comes when you call it back into the house. Sometimes. If it feels like it.

Anyway, yes if you have a tiny apartment and if you are not diligent about changing the litter box,, your place stinks. If you don't think it does you either never entertain, or your friends are too nice to bring it up. This is a fact. So in some ways I am glad that the landlord vetoed our idea.

But now I get to experience all the stinkiness of having a cat without the actual fun or companionship. Gee whiz!

One night a few months ago Adam came home and mentioned it smelled disgusting in the hall way and we both concurred it was definitely cat piss. Then for a week or so it was fine. Then again we smelled it. Could it be that someone in the building has a cat? A stinky cat at that? No who would do such a thing? Then one by one the clues came in. Kitty litter tracked in the hallway. The cat piss smell lingered. A Petco receipt in the foyer. The stench grows stronger.

Adam and Sarah: Pet Detectives were on the case.

Oh yes, we deduced, Some sneaky tenant has thwarted our landlord’s heated NO PETS EVER NO WAY NO HOW NO clause and decided to do what they want. I can’t fault them – it’s their lease they are violating, not mine. And it wouldn’t be any of my business but it just so happens they are also violating our olefactory glands as well since lately it has STUNK to high heaven of cat pee in the hallway. And I know that scent well. Anyone who has smelled it once, will never forget it. And it is a nasty, nasty smell.

And you know, we live in a decent building. In a clean building. And I don’t think it’s fair that I have to smell someone else’s lack of pet hygene. And you know me, I was all prepared to address the tenant about this situation. And I had a nice way of saying it. Something like “Oh I wanted to let you know that it s really obvious by the smell out in the hallway that you have a cat…so you might want to do something about it so the landlord doesn’t catch you”. Or something like that. Like try to frame it that I am more concerned the landlord will find out about the cat and make him or her get rid of it, than I am about the fact that the common areas in our small building smell putrid because he or she is a slob and can’t empty a litter box now and again.

The only problem with my plan was: I don’t know who it is that has a cat. I had narrowed it down to the 1 of the 2 basement units since it smells the worst on that floor (coincidentally also where the laundry is). But I thought knocking on the wrong door might cause undue unrest. And I am not the cat police up in here. I couldn’t care less if you have 1o cats as long as I don’t have to smell them from all the way up on the 3rd floor where no smell that I did not create belongs.

Then, luckily, a few days ago the case broke. I was arriving home from work, unloading groceries from the trunk when I spied with my little eye, this guy.



O hai!

I took the picture to send to Adam as proof that we were not imagining things. From the window, I can tell exactly which unit this is and lo, the tenant is the same person whose car alarm goes off all hours of the night. So she is used to offending everyone’s senses. I should have guessed.

In any case now that the case has been solved, it is time to take the next step. I will put it to a vote. If you lived in my building, a vehemently pet free building, and knew someone had a cat whose urine you could smell every time you stepped out of your apartment what would you do?

1) Slip a note under the door perhaps asking if they were letting their cat piss on the hallway carpets because how else would it smell so bad in the building?
2) Just knock on the door and be all concerned about the landlord finding out and asking them to please be careful (i.e. change the litterbox more than once a month)
3) Leave a spray can of Lysol at their door
4) Get over it

I know the popular response will be 4 but it SMELLS SO BAD. It’s embarrassing when people come over that they have to traipse through the dense stench of cat urine to get to our apartment. And I am not going to get the landlord involved, I am not a total dick and I would hate for the cat to be put out.

I just wish it didn’t smell like a cat’s ass when I opened my apartment door. Is that so much to ask? IS IT!?

Why Do I Feel Like I'm in Boogie Nights?*

*That is one of my favorite quotes from my cousin’s wedding this weekend. Allow me to explain how it was somewhat apt.

This weekend my cousin Paul got married and in usual Stewart family tradition, we piled in a bus armed with coolers of beer, sangria and margaritas and headed down the Cape to participate.

I have to say that the thing I love about the weddings I get to go to is that no two are alike. I have probably been to 12 or so over the past few years and each one has been so different from the one before. No cookie cutter weddings up in this piece! A

Anywho for my cousin’s wedding they rented out this amazing property in Bourne and turned it into wedding fantasy land. For one thing, the bar opened before the ceremony which I think is kind of key. For another thing, the ceremony was conducted mostly in the Quaker fashion which was new to me. Instead of the JP telling us all about the couple…..the guests of the wedding had occasion to stand during the ceremony and speak directly to the couple about how he or she may feel about them. It was incredibly touching and really painted an awesome picture of Paul and Christie which was nice for me since Paul lives in Chicago and I don’t get to see him that often, and had actually never met Christie before. But it was obvious from all the wonderful words so many guests shared that they are a wonderful couple. My dad even spoke, a man who is not super fond of weddings or social events in general but when he spoke I swear there was not a dry eye in the house. Really lovely.



Dinner was banquet style outside with candles and flowers and fishbowls and the buffet was seemingly never ending. As was the wine supply.



Someone also had the bright idea to fill the empty vases on the table with beer. I love this kind of innovation.

Then once dinner was over we all made our way down a Christmas light-lit path to the barn where the live band was bringing the house (or the barn, as it were) down. Christie gave out fake mustaches for all to wear which made us all fall in love with her a little bit more.



And then we noticed the pool. And then within 30 minutes the quiet cool pool was lit up and filled with my cousins, aunts, uncles and other party goers in various stages of undress from full on party dresses and suits, to bras and undies. Which is when the Boogie Nights quote occurred and was considered quite apt by all.

As we boarded the bus around 11PM to head back to Quincy, those of us who didn’t pass out on the way home agreed it was a wonderful and unique wedding and the bar had definitely been set HIGH for the rest of us. Check out the rest of the pics here

Congrats guys!

After Working So Hard To Get Rid of my Boston Accent

I hate that these three words/phrases sound exactly the same in my mind.

Khaki
Car Key
Cocky


It is NOT right.

Chop it To Me

I have a good post in me, regarding a smashing Sunday spent down the Cape with some of our favorite people. However my computer at home is playing this game where all our internet browser stops working after 5 minutes of use. SO I upload a few pics and then LATA I can't upload anymore. But It's a work on progress. And I wouldn't want to regale you with tales of our adventure on the high seas without at least a few gratuitous pics, so stay tuned for that.

For now I will share something else with you: a recipe. YAY.

I had popped onto Martha Stewart's website to peruse fall decorating ideas (what?) when this recipe for Chopped Cucumber and Peanut Salad jumped out at me. Why? Because I love cucumbers and I love peanuts. My needs are simple. Give me a vegetable and a legume and all is right in my world.

So after a quick phone call to Adam beseeching him to stop at the farm stand on his way home and get some cucumber and some fresh mint. (Ok I might not have remembered about the mint until 1/2 an hour after I asked for the cucumbers so he had to make two stops. But he is a much better person than I am so he didn't mind). Anyway the salad came together super easily and was such a delight. Fresh. Summery. Crunchy. Refreshing. Everything you want in a summer side dish. I can't wait to make it over and over again until awesome cuke season is over.

Try it out, the ingredienst are readily available and you will not be dissapointed! I sereved mine on the side of some Asian Glazed Chicken and brown rice. I really think it would pair well with any summery dish!

Chopped Cucumber and Peanut Salad
from Martha Stewart

3 large cucumbers (about 2 pounds), peeled and seeded
1/2 cup roasted unsalted peanuts, roughly chopped
2 tablespoons freshly chopped mint
Juice of 1 lime
2 teaspoons peanut oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon crushed red-pepper flakes

1. Cut cucumbers into 1/2-inch dice, and place in a medium bowl. Add peanuts, mint, lime juice, oil, salt, and crushed red-pepper flakes, and stir to combine.
2. Set aside for 30 minutes to let flavors meld before serving.



See? How easy is that! The only change I made was I used veggie oil since that is all I had and I used salted peanuts because I love them. It was delicioso. Enjoy!

The Welcome Return of Douche-Arms

Now that the weather has finally turned, it has brought with the return of driving down the street with your windows down and, of course, the return of Douche-Arm. YAY! A summer without Douche Arm is no summer at all. You or a loved one may have experienced Douche-Arm without realizing it. Especially if you are into any of the following:

a)Drifting in and out of lanes without signaling

b) Driving at least 10 MPH below the speed limit for no reason
c) Not realizing that a light has turned green and holding up the line of cars behind you.

What is Douche Arm? Glad you asked.

When you have your arm hanging flat down the side of your car/truck. Not rocking out to a song. Not waving in the breeze. Just hanging there.

Now, when the weather is nice I am the first one to have my windows down and the arm out the window. But not dangling down like some kind of dead appendage. How can that even be comfortable? It's like walking without swinging your arms. It looks weird and it freaks me out. I do appreciate the warning though that you are probably as relaxed with your driving as your arm is because then I can leisurely pass you to avoid being stuck going 30MPH on the highway.

Also, this is not to be confused with the opposite (and my favorite of vehicular arm positions), Jazz-Arm!

In which you reach your arm out the window, elbow bent and tap the rhythm of the song you are listening to on the hood of your car. I think that is great for highway morale and always makes me wonder what song you are listening to.

Stay tuned for next week when we discuss the rarely spotted Sunroof-Jazz-Arm (spotted last Saturday in New Hampshire).

I'm Super, Thanks for Asking

So what's new with me?

Last time we talked I was gushing over my new solution to having a doorless doorway. It is still looking good ane keeping things cool and I have even switched out the runners just for kicks. Non stop madness up in here!

Moving on.

Two weeks ago I was involved in an accident during rush hour on the Southeastern Expressway. I was rear ended by a man in a SUV who was too busy talking on his cell phone to bother to stop and the impact forced my car under the SUV in front of me. Charming! Luckily nobody was hurt but dealing wth the aftermath has been an endless freaking headache. For instance, did you know that in Massachusetts all a guilty party has to do is not talk to their insurance company in order to avoid being found at fault in a timely fashion? It's true. The guy who hit me has been "unreachable" by his insurance company and my own so as a result I had to pay my deductible AND for my rental that I needed for two weeks while my car was being worked on. So already I am out $800 for an accident that wasn't even my fault. Not to mention I went to the doctor right after the accident since I hit my head pretty hard on my seat and just wanted to get checked out and now my health insurance has kicked back that bill to me so I have even more paperwork to fill out. It has gotten to the point that I hate answering my phone when it's a number I don't recognize because it involves me dragging out my "accident binder" (that I had to create to track all this everloving paperwork) and go through everything that has happened, claim numbers, member IDs etc that I have already given out 100 times all because some asshole in his company car was too busy chatting on his phone to see the line of stopped cars in front of him. And when I call my insurance company they basically have no update and are like " If you want info call HIS insurance company, dont call us". Why the christ do I pay you every month? So you can just cut me a check and then ignore me? Does my monthly payment not cover any kind of customer service? It is MADDENING.

Whew, I feel much better having vented about that. Like my mom said. The important thing is no one was hurt, everything else is just money. And truth be told there is a silver lining. I just got my car back from the shop and after getting new bumpers, a new hood and a new grill she looks like a brand new car! SO everything in perspective I suppose.

In other news. about half of the tenants in our building have moved out and as a result our place is so QUIET. It is amazing how used to other people's noise you get so that it becomes just part of the background. It's almost creepily quiet. But I do like being able to turn the TV up somewhat loud late to accomodate my deaf ass without having to worry about the people downstairs. We renewed our lease until the beginning of April. Right now we are kind of in a holding pattern as to what our next step is. We have a few options we're mulling over:

1) My parents have applied for Peace Corps and if they get in, we will certainly want to move into their place and keep an eye on it in their absence as well as save some money. We won't know if that scenario is a go though for a few more months. And to be honest they are having a tough time with their application processbecasue their Peace Corps rep is the least helpful guy ever. I have read the emails he has sent to them and I am amazed people who want to sign up for a great program such as this and donate two years of their lives are treated in such a way just because they don't necessarily have a ton of volunteer experience. Ridiculous.

2) We also toy with moving into the city for a year just for kicks before we are forced to settle down. I've always secretly wanted to live in the Porter Square area. And while I thought I got my city living fix when I was 18 and had an apartment in Egleston Square with a bunch of other City-Yearers, I still find myself wondering.

3)Or we may just buy a place come next spring. Who knows? We keep vacillating on what we want. This is the time in our lives to do what we want while we can so we're taking advantage of it.

Lastly, I leave you with this. I attended quite a few parties over the weekend and all of them were held mostly outdoors. As a result I obtained quite a few bug bites since bugs love me and my skin is apparently resistent to all bug sprays. What seemed at first like just a few bug bites on Sunday manifested itself as a treacherous amount on Monday. Literally my feet and legs are COVERED in what I assumed were little mosquioto bites. This is what comes of drinking in the woods I suppose. Then I saw my mom on Monday night who informed me "Oh those aren't mosquito bites, those are flea bites".

Could I be more charming?

And if you know me at all, you know I couldn't keep something like this to myself. I'm covered in flea bites! Apparently people are sick of hearing about it though because I came in today and found this on my keyboard. FINE. I''ll shut up about it.

If you are strong of stomach you can see what I am talking about here. Why have a blog if you can't post disgusting pictures of your feet?

So I suppose Adam is no longer lying when he calls me (lovingly of course) a flea bitten old bag.