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Friday, August 07, 2009

The Welcome Return of Douche-Arms

Now that the weather has finally turned, it has brought with the return of driving down the street with your windows down and, of course, the return of Douche-Arm. YAY! A summer without Douche Arm is no summer at all. You or a loved one may have experienced Douche-Arm without realizing it. Especially if you are into any of the following:

a)Drifting in and out of lanes without signaling
b) Driving at least 10 MPH below the speed limit for no reason
c) Not realizing that a light has turned green and holding up the line of cars behind you.

What is Douche Arm? Glad you asked.

When you have your arm hanging flat down the side of your car/truck. Not rocking out to a song. Not waving in the breeze. Just hanging there.
Now, when the weather is nice I am the first one to have my windows down and the arm out the window. But not dangling down like some kind of dead appendage. How can that even be comfortable? It's like walking without swinging your arms. It looks weird and it freaks me out. I do appreciate the warning though that you are probably as relaxed with your driving as your arm is because then I can leisurely pass you to avoid being stuck going 30MPH on the highway.
Also, this is not to be confused with the opposite (and my favorite of vehicular arm positions), Jazz-Arm!
In which you reach your arm out the window, elbow bent and tap the rhythm of the song you are listening to on the hood of your car. I think that is great for highway morale and always makes me wonder what song you are listening to.
Stay tuned for next week when we discuss the rarely spotted Sunroof-Jazz-Arm (spotted last Saturday in New Hampshire).

3 comments:

Alisa said...

LOL!! I always love what do with MS paint. Now I will be keeping my eye out for douche arms.

Nicky said...

The driving arm that I hate is when it's hanging STRAIGHT out the window - like you're making a left hand turn...for miles and miles. That cannot possibly be comfortable, what with the window edge cutting into your soft under arm. I don't know why, but it drives me batty.

The Word Slinger Upstairs said...

This is hilarious! I spent about 3 hours on the highway today and constantly felt like I was watching for the next stupid thing the other cars would do. Everyone makes me so nervous!