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Friday, February 13, 2009

A Golden Girls Valentine's Day


(picture from Matthew Baldwin's Flickr)

Blanche: I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.
Dorothy: Ah, you're first kiss was in the rain?
Blanche: No it was in the shower.
***
Blanche: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.
***
Blanche: There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line
***
Blanche: Oh girls... I'm just in ecstasy. My body is tingling all over. You will never guess what just happened.
Sophia: We know what happened. Let us just guess what part of the Middle East he's from.
***
Blanche: Are you implying I lost my virginity at an early age?
Sophia: I'm just saying you're lucky Jack-&-Jill magazine didn't have a gossip column.
***
Blanche: You know what I hate doing most after a party?
Rose: Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?
***
Rose: When men see that you shave your legs above the knee, what does that say to them?
Blanche: Hopefully it says, '"Touch my leg!"
Dorothy: That's in case they miss the tattoo that says the same.
***
Blanche: Rose, honey, there's something I have to say to you. It's just two little words but, they are the hardest two little words in all the whole world for me to say.
Rose: "Not tonight"?
***
Blanche: Dorothy, wait up you just walk so fast.
Dorothy: I'm in a hurry!
Blanche: It's not sexy! A woman should take tiny delicate steps as if to say "Yes, I may be slower than you, but maybe I'm worth waiting for.
Dorothy: Blanche, my mother is missing, it's the middle of the night, you have to excuse me if I don't have the roaming gait of a nymphomaniac.
***
Sophia: If I met a man who was over seventy but still looked half-way decent, I'd be on my back faster than you could say, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
***
Blanche: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a long, hot, steamy bath with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.
Sophia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?!
***
Blanche: Girls, we can't fire her now. She's making me an aphrodisiac.
Dorothy: Use vodka and black underwear like everyone else!

13 comments:

Nicky said...

I am trying so hard not to laugh at my desk right now. Golden Girls made for the perfect Valentine's Day gift. Thanks, Sarah! (o:

Jenny said...

Ha ha ha. Thanks for the laugh! :)

Melissa said...

Haha I love it and I remember every single one of those episodes! Great post!

Mandy said...

I LOVE the Golden Girls!

Blanche: I am nothing but a cheap, tawdry slut...
Rose: Wait, let me guess...is it Blanche?

eileen said...

Excellent!

Good Gals Inc said...

This is great!!!!!!

Rebecca Jill said...

Reading all of these lines from the show, I love how I can hear all of their voices speaking them in my head. A fun read!

Alisa said...

LOL!!! Thank you for this!!

ryssee said...

I can't believe I haven't watched an episode in three years. Thanks for the laugh!

Jewels said...

Thanks Sarah! It's definitely what I needed to end my day on high note :)

Andy said...

Best blog post ever.
So hilarious.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I used to love that show!!

Ally said...

These are FABULOUS!! Thanks for sharing. That show is so classic.