Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fierce Sperm

I am becoming entirely too OCD about my eyebrows.

I pluck them myself and don't really have any interest in getting them waxed because ( I know I am weird) I actually like doing it. Apparently too much since I have gone from plucking once a week to a few times a week. But I mean there is nothing worse than catching a glimpse of your upper eye area in the mirror and thinking 'Christ, it be jungle!". And it's never a good thing when applying eye makeup has you thinking that soon the Gypsy Moth caterpillars will be upon us again.

The thing is, just as under plucking is gross, over plucking is just as gross. I learned this in 10th grade. My uber-fabulous boyfriend at the time (who would later SHOCKINGLY turn out to be gay) taught me two important lessons within the first week of our relationship

1) I should work the green eye shadow more often.
2) I really need to do something about my brows.

Up until then I had never plucked. It had never even occurred to me. I took his advice very seriously though and sat down one day after school with my mom's makeup mirror, an ice pack and some tweezers and went to town. And kept going to town. And emerged from town with a look that I can only describe using terminology I learned on from a fellow Tweeter. They looked like fierce sperm.

And this look was noticed and ceaselessly commented on the next amongst my friends, hidden deep within such compliments as "Woah what happened to you?" and "Why do you look weird?"or my boyfriend at the time's "Um what did you do!?"!

I learned my lesson that day and endeavored to improve my technique and leave at least more than a line of single hairs. And I think I have it pretty under control. Actually, I usually get compliments on my eyebrows and am occasionally asked where I "get them done" (I refrain from saying, during SweatPants time on My Bed). But this week, I had a lapse and went a little overboard reigning in the stragglers.

(they are not THAT light in real life. don't worry)

I wouldn't say it's quite "fierce sperm" level...but definitely "anorexic quotation marks"

Note to self: Step away from the Tweezers!!


Jewels said...

oh so true...and so have been there!

Melissa said...

I used to pluck the crap out of mine! It was so bad I barely had any eyebrows! Thankfully, I've learned form that, but still! It was awful!

danielle said...

i have never in my life plucked a single eyebrow. there's no point, they are basically invisible. anyway, i LOVE fierce sperm. it's SO funny!

RED said...

overplucker - guilty as charged.
although I'm definietley getting better.
MY DAD was the one who told me it was time to pluck. He would even trim my eyebrows for me. But, he's also OCD with hair in general. Too funny!

AnnaB said...

I am a psycho plucker here too. In fact, I was trying to let my brows grow out so I could get them waxed (for the first time ever) but the straggliness drove me nuts so I went to town with tweezers. My big problem is matching both brows. One is always overplucked.

Anonymous said...

They look perfect to me!! I gave up plucking during Brooke Shields eyebrow days!! Thank you for joining my tweet so hard to find anyone local??!

Anonymous said...

PS Stop by my blog for giveaway y'all!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I've had a love/hate relationship with my brows forever! I once plucked awhole throuhg them! Brilliant eh?

Jenn said...

Ha ha, I hear you and have been there only I think when I did my overplucking it was even worse - I made the part that should have been the "body" of the "fierce sperm" too thin too so the whole things were just too thin and weird. I guess I looked more like a kewpie doll or something. It was UNFORTUNATE. These days I definitely go easy on it and just get the stragglers, but it is true that almost any given day I can find at least one to pluck.

Nicky said...

Oh the brow stories I could tell. Haha! When I was in my teens, I used to let mine go all Brook Shields too (and was proud of it in my hippie days) until my sister pretty much gave me an intervention. These days, I'm a firm believer in a good brow. Lol. I invested in a Anastasia Brow kit before my wedding. I'm addicted:

Best purchase ever. (Though my kit is looking a little beat these days.)

Jenny said...

I pluck mine as well (and several times a week) - I worry about too many mishaps with wax or professionals - and have gotten compliments too.

Once I went to far though and plucked the outside too much so that my eyebrows stopped before they reached the outside end of my eye. Oops! Lesson learned.