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Thursday, August 07, 2008

Feminine Protection

I am pretty lucky in that when I am at work, nothing really gets me too mad. Day to day I am very go with the flow and have often been applauded in my reviews for being "even-keeled"

Go me.


But there is one thing that really grinds my gears.

Three Hole Punch Thieves.

Now, I have my own three hole punch at work (special, right?). I happen to do a lot of three hole punching because my method of staying organized involves lots of binders - at least one for every project I am working on. Keeping all your paperwork in binders necessitates having a three hole punch handy. While there are several in the office for communal use, they always seem to go missing so I asked the office manager to specifically order one for me and she obliged. Yet even with several other three hole punches in the office, mine always goes missing. Like, every day. People don't want to walk an extra 3 feet to use the one in the mail room so these people pinch mine and it's not even like they use it at my desk which would be absolutely fine but they take it with them and then I can't find it.

WHY!

And when I say "people" I mean "guys". I work with mostly men and these men like to horde office equipment. It's not uncommon for one of these guys to take my three hole punch back to their desk where they ALREADY HAVE ONE because theirs is full and they don't feel like emptying it. Seriously.

I realize it's a little thing but so is a pebble in your shoe and both are ANNOYING.

My coworker K, who sits next to me , felt for my travails and offered a solution. A way to make my three hole punch unattractive to the roving band of three hole punch thieveing guys in my office. So with one trip to the ladies room - we seem to have a solution.





Desperate times, people.

22 comments:

More, More, More said...

THAT is classic!

Amanda* said...

I work with men as well, and that is truly genius. Next time something of mine goes missing a little too often, I will remember this.

Laura and John said...

That is hilarious!!! We have one 3 hole punch in my office. It could be bolted to where it is because it's watched by punch nazis. You take your paper to the punch, do your thing and the punch stays where it is. Period.

Randall said...

Perfect solution! I was going to say you need to attach it to your desk like those bank pens.

Jenn said...

Awesome. I have also experienced the rampant desk accessory stealing. At one office they eventually bought me a big red metal stapler a la Office Space when I left the company as part of my going away gifts. Hilarious.

Meg said...

Awesome. That's all I can say.

San said...

Does it work???? :) :)

RED said...

oh my gosh - GENIUS! I LOVE IT! that has to work. your posts always make me laugh S. great fun!

Amy Dev said...

Love it...I did something similar last year. I have many bizzarre food allergies suddenly in life. One of which prevents me from drinking most beers. Going to a Red Sox game + No drinking = Not as much fun, SO I decided to bring a few nips of citron vodka with me. BUT, how do you sneak nips of vodka through check yoru purse security guys my boyfriend asked me??? Simple, you bring a purse with a large inside pocket. Put the nips in that packet, then lay a few pads on top and put a few tampons on top of teh pads. What purse checking security dude is really going to search any further once they see pads and tampons?? Worked like a charm. My boyfriend just shook his head and said....your methods of thinking just shouldn't surprise me anymore....

Sarah said...

Amy you and I are on the same page. I did the same thing at Fenway with a mini flask and an empty small box of Tampons. Works like a charm!

Not Whitey Bulger said...

Guys take your hole punch because they think of you as their "office wife." You need to hold a public divorce from them, to let them know that you are not responsible for picking up their socks and replacing the empty toilet paper roll (office-wise).

Rhoobs said...

omg thats hysterical. i love how scared of tampons men are.

Miss Mar said...

That's perfect!! I wonder if I should tape tampons to my pens.. those seem to go missing all the time. Might make for difficult writing, but hey, as you said, desperate times.

Nicky said...

HAHAHA! The 3 hole punch at my office always goes missing too. As does various items from my desk. Since my favorite pens kept disappearing, I've taken to using ridiculous writing tools(one pen looks like a I'm writing with a ginormous poppy and the other has a crown trimmed with a feather boa on the top that lights up when you write) and I also have stuck stickers all over my supplies labeled "NICKY". The secretary at our other building paints everything like a bumble bee and velcros it to her desk. So she knows for a fact when you stole it. Hope your tampon tactic works!

Traci Anne said...

Holy crap, these ideas are all brilliant!

Moda di Magno said...

Brava! That is fabulous! Perhaps I can stop putting Wite Out initials on everything...

M= My Stuff
http://www.flickr.com/photos/modadimagno/sets/72157606594324672/

Caity said...

So many uses... I got to roam about the hotel after curfew you on all those BHS music trips! I stuck a tampon in my pocket and whenever I was stopped, I explained that I needed to grab one from/deliver one to (depending on which way I was headed) a friend. Worked every time!

LaCouturier said...

hahahha oh my lanta that is sooo clever!

please visit my blog & comment =]
http://la-couturier.blogspot.com

Karen said...

Simply put - you are a genius! I am totally doing this with my office supplies to encourage my boss to go "shopping" at some else's desk. He is such an office supply thieving bastard. But I will have the last laugh now!

Melissa said...

Hilarious! I love it!

Anonymous said...

Ladies, this works in luggage, too. I was sick to death of having my stuff stolen, damaged, and vandalized by TSA and airline employees, and now I do the same thing -- no more missing perfume and jewelry! I'll be through menopause soon, but I'm keeping a supply on hand just for this purpose.

Michelle said...

I have the same rage too! I can't stand it when people steal my three hole punch. I even have my name on it!

Then when I was away for a week due to shingles, I come back and it's missing. People who were in our building for a three week seminar stole it. After they returned it, I locked it up.