Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Whistle While You Freak Out

I really believe that the longer you live with someone, the more easily freaked out you get when you are alone in your home. Of course this may just be me, admittedly kind of a baby, but I think that the more you get used to someone being around, the more apt you are to, say, freak out after watching a scary movie alone at night.

Let's set the scene:

It's Monday evening. Adam has left for hockey practice. I had been running around all day and was in deep need of some relaxing. What better way to do this than with a scary movie? In this case it was "The Reaping" because it had this kind of "Seventh Sign" thing going on that I was interested in.

So I watch the movie and it's ok, some parts are definitely scary but overall it's more creepy than scary.

Then I do the logical thing and decide to take a shower. Because taking a shower when you're home alone at night after watching a scary movie is always a good time, right? That is until halfway through your shower your bathroom door blows open for some reason and you scream. Not the cool screechy scream you witnessed a dozen times in that movie but more a bellow of surprise. Uhhhh!

When the door blew open my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Was Adam home yet? He had texted me not more than fifteen minutes ago that he was at the rink so that wasn't possible. Could my landlord be here? But why would she come in when she could hear the shower going. Was it a homicidal maniac trying to scare me out of the bathroom so he could murder me?

That sounded like the most logical solution.

As I rationalized my heart beat down to an acceptable pace I decided that there was only one option.

Start whistling.

Right? If there was a homicidal maniac in my apartment - how could he possibly consider murdering me while I am whistling such hits as "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and "Habanera" from Carmen. This is not the first time I have whistled while scared. Sometimes when I am driving in really bad weather I will turn the radio off and whistle. And at work when I am stressed out sometimes I find that I whistle. So whistle I did as I finished up my shower, grabbed my robe and cautiously stepped out of the bathroom. And wouldn't you know it? No one was there. Whistling saves the day again.

Actually it turns out, after consulting with some coworkers about this incident, that some people would very much like to physically harm whistlers. So while it may have saved me from my scary shower, every time I sit at my desk whistling songs from Hairspray I am actually more likely to face imminent death than from a coworker than I am from a maniac in my apartment.

Who knew?


Sasky said...

Lastnight I found a wooden bat next to our bed. When I asked Tony what it was, he said it was for protection when I was away this weekend. The big strong mens get freaked out too!

Laura and John said...

What if the scary bathroom murderer was a homo-phobe? I'm thinking maybe something other than Wham would've been a better choice.

Jackie said...

Hahahahahahhaha! This made me laugh out loud - at my desk - at work! Whistling? Your first reaction is to whistle?! You crack me up :)

Anonymous said...

as much as i like your story and you, i do actually hate whistlers and i would break their faces if it were allowed. maybe not yours-maybe.


Sarah said...

Oh really danielle? Well guess who's going to be whistling all day on Saturday? Get psyched.

Miss Mar said...

When I'm home alone, I totally get freaked out by everything. If I go to the bathroom, and the shower curtain is closed, I rip it open really quickly in case someone is hiding behind it to kill me. No clue why I think its a good idea to open it to SEE the killer.. but.. that's what I do.

Mandy said...

"...a bellow of surprise..." That cracked me up!!!!

AmyD said...

Ahahaaaaa! You are flipping hilarious!! When I read this, I thought to myself, "Why doesn't she just SING the songs?!" but maybe that would further provoke? And who I am to wonder? ;o)

Sarah said...

I know that would have made more sense...however while I can be too scared to sing I am never too scared to whistle (apparentlty!)

Anonymous said...

don't make me shove your face into the pig's mouth!


Jill said...

I whistle whenever I'm cleaning the apartment. I don't even realize I'm doing it until I notice DG staring at me like I'm nuts. I think whistling is a great strategy. It's almost like giving someone crazy eyes. It's sure to keep the psychos at bay. :)

Anonymous said...

We have two whistlers in our office, and they tend to whistle different things, so I always know who is coming down the hallway before I see him, based only on what he is whistling.

When I'm scared at home alone I turn on ALL the lights. Bad for the electric bill, good for my sanity.