Taking the Word "Cocktails" a Little Too Literally

In most situations, even the most dire, there is always something to be glad about it. And I don't just say this because I watched "Pollyanna" starring one Miss Hayley Mills for the first time since elementary school, but because I think it's true.

Take Saturday night, for instance, Adam and I met up with Jenny and Danielle at yet another new restaurant/bar in downtown Quincy. Adam and I had actually dined there the night before and not been overly impressed (inept wait staff and the kitchen was out of everything we tried to order) but we did note that the bar area was large and had tons of seating which is great for a gal with a bum foot and a penchant for weekend cocktails.

So this bar, who shall remain nameless for now because I feel like it's in poor taste to blog about a bad experience at a bar BY NAME if you are not going to give them a heads up about your experience first, was pretty dead for a Saturday night. And the DJ seemed like the only CD he had was Now That's What I Call Music from 1999. But what he lacked in new music he made up for in bass thumping volume But the silver lining of not a ton of people + loud music = ample opportunity to people watch and speak aloud about what we see. And what we saw was basically a bad porn.

Seriously.

About an hour after we got there a young man arrived, clearly already drunk, and made his way around the bar area basically hitting on any woman under the age of 40. Being rebuffed time and again did not bother our young drunkard and he finally met his match in a young woman who had been at the bar before we arrived, and was as drunk if not drunker than he was.

Let the games begin.

We noted that in lieu of introductions and handshake they opted to create a dance floor in the middle of the bar and "freak dance" as the kids used to call it. Basically dry humping vertically. Super charming!!

I swear my friends and I TRIED to have our own conversation and not stare but we could not look away. It was like a gyrating STD-riddled train wreck right in front of us. But when she started lifting up her skirt and putting her hands down his pants, our amusement turned to disgust. Our puritanical New England hearts got the best of us and we were shocked! and! offended!

The couple made their way back to the bar (let me remind you there were like 15 people total in the bar so it's not like they were in some clandestine corner covered by a crowd. They were front and center basically in a spotlight) and the making out continued and clothing was shifting around. I will leave you with the image of her straddling his leg because that was the last image in my mind when I turned to my friends and said "We have to get ot of here".

Now, I am not a total prude (ok, I totally am) but this is the kind of thing I would think a manager of an establishment would want to put an end to. It wasn't just like "Oh look at them, they are making out in public. How quaint". It was like "I have to look away because I think I just saw that guy's penis".

Our waitress came over, covering her eyes chanting "Omygod Omygod Omygod Do you guys SEE THAT!?". We of course said yes and I was like "Why don't you say something to them?" and she said she could not so I, not one to shy away from speaking up, asked if I could.

She said YES PLEASE DO.

So after we paid the check, I sauntered over to them, tapped the guy on the shoulder and to give him his due he did take a moment to remove his nose from in between her breasts, and I said "Hey - you guys might want to get a motel room or something because we are all about to vomit. K? Thx". And with that stalked out of the bar to meet my friends outside where we collapsed into cackles about it and then headed to the Ashmont Grill to make ourselves feel clean again.

So whereas our delicate sensibilities were offended, maybe they did take my advice and take it to a motel in which case I can at least feel good about supporting a local business.