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Monday, April 07, 2008

Honk!

I was driving down the street, on my way back from a lunchtime jaunt to Russo's . As I neared a busy intersection, I noticed a Canadian Goose just kind of lolly gagging in the middle of the street. I slowed down to a mere crawl, hoping the bird would be scared of my car and get out of the street. However this particular goose didn't give an F about me or my car, so I started to brake when a woman comes running out into the street in front of my car waving her arms screaming at me STOP THERE IS A GOOSE HERE!!!!!!".

Uh, I know lady! I saw him about 200 feet ago and am only going about 10 MPH about to brake. Settle down!

So I stopped as I planned to do and waited a moment, while the woman ran back on the sidewalk and when the goose still made no move to get out of the way I slowly drove around him while his female bodyguard screamed BE CAREFUL!!!!!!

What this lady did not know is I love geese and would never hurt one. Many, many years ago, during a night of shall we call it recreational experimentation, I thought a Canadian Goose in Boston Common was trying to steal my passport and "learn all my secrets" but I have since gotten over my suspicious attitude towards the breed.



P.S.

"That bird better pray he don't ruin my credit!"

11 comments:

minijonb said...

I don't like Geese. I lived in a complex once that had a bunch living in a pond. They shat over everything and made awful noise!!! I wouldn't run over one, but I would scare it a bit...

Sarah said...

This goose could not be scared. I swear, when I stopped in front of him expecting him to move out of the way, he just looked at me like "what the christ do you want!?"

Mandy said...

"STOP THERE IS A GOOSE HERE!!!!!."

Snort...

Suz said...

SNL needs to bring back Brian Fellows. Glad you and the goose survived unscathed.

Joe Sheehan said...

My favorite Tracy Morgan skit ever!

Ladybug's Picnic said...

"That bird is not my doppelganger!" OMG. I'm Brian Fellow!

Alisa said...

Perhaps that goose read too much of "Make Way For Ducklings" and now he feels all empowered.
http://www.amazon.com/Make-Way-Ducklings-Robert-McCloskey/dp/B0007D9VJG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207614356&sr=1-1

Nicky said...

Girl, you are going to get me in SO much trouble. I am trying to covertly read your blog while at work, and just had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud at my desk! I'm DYING. I must hear more about this Canadian Goose ID theif.

Stacey said...

Between the aforementioned Canadian Goose "passport thief" and our dear, paranoid friend Brian Fellow, this was a hilarious post. :)

Meg said...

I hate geese, as I was nearly attacked by some when I was three. However, I heart Brian Fellow and am off to YouTube to watch some post-haste. The thing I'm most concerned about re: the crazy goose woman is, if she thought you weren't going to stop, why did she jump out in the street? Would she rather you hit her than the goose?

Krista said...

you are killing me.