Tights Like Woah
In these times of frigid cold, there are certain things a girl must do to stay warm. Invest in a remote car starter (or DIY style like me and run down to your car in your bathrobe in the morning, start it, then run upstairs to get dresed), purchase a decent glove-scarf-hat combo, and perhaps the most important: the wearing of tights underneath pants.
I own an array of tights in different patterns and colors: red and black striped, black lace, brown fishnet, black ribbed and so on and so forth. In the winter I often wear these under my pants to work to 1) keep my legs warmer when I have to head out to offsite meetings and 2) to keep my coworkers from turning to stone when they look at my dry gorgon ankles (hot!). Usually I am happy with the results. I am warm, my feet look cute and all is well in the world.
But things can't be perfect all the time.
Someday, someone will be able to tell me why it is that some tights can fit so that the waistband is under your breasts, but the crotch is somewhere between your knees and where they actually should be. Are there some impossiblly long torsoed women out there that can account for this mystery? This morning I opened a new pair of black patterned tights to put on and I was in such a rush I basically threw them on, and some pants, and was out the door. As I sat in the car on my ride to work, I thought to myself "Jeez this bra is uncomfortable" but lo, when I got to work and went into the bathroom I realized that it wasn't the bra-band digging into my shoulder blades but, in fact, the waistband of my tights.
Seriously? If these tights manufacturers are going to make tights ride SO high they could at least throw a couple of cups and some bra straps on there and let me kill two birds with one stone.
So I made it through most of the morning in mild discomfort, but as I was cutting out binder tabs I was struck with inspiration. I slid the scissors into my handbag and dashed off to the ladies room. Once I was safely ensconsed in a stall, I pulled down my pants and went to work. First I cut the waistband of the tights and then cut all the way down until my knee, then I cut across. I repeated on the other side and when I was done I had on my lower legs some rather jaggedly cut new black knee socks and in my hand the tattered remains of a pair of tights that could have doubled as a body sock if need be.
Ahh sweet relief.
Of course even though I meant to do this clandestinely, I could not help gloating to my coworker when I left the stall. We agreed that this was the new burning of bras! Forget setting your bras ablaze, take a pair of scissors to your high waisted tights!Embrace the freedom!
Of course, it's less of a political statement and more of a disinclination towards wearing a body sock issue. But, still.
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9 comments:
Brilliance - can one say you are Fashion's answer to McGyver? *LOL*
Ugh, I find tights so ridiculously uncomfortable, I hardly ever wear them, which essentially means I am not able to wear much for skirts/dresses in the winter, this makes me depressed, because I find them absolutely adorable. They never seem to fit right, and almost ALWAYS cut so much into my tummy, accentuating and creating little rolls at my waistband, I just can't handle it. I am just amazed you are able to wear them so often, and under pants! Impressive, I am too much of a baby and I just end up uncomfortable all day long.
Sorry about my little diatribe, I am always just so jealous of those who can wear tights.
that was hilarious! Hee, I'm five feet, I can pull those darn things up over my head back down and still have enough material to make a muff.
ha! thats the thing. the "regular" tights are too short for me but the "tall" tights have a freaking hood!
I cannot wear tights.
I wore them all throughout Catholic Highschool and I vowed to never wear them again!
I totally know what you're talking about ... haha... I think it's just like "one size fits all", in case one very large woman has to wear these tights, too ;)
But hey, you're creative and found a solution. Thanks for sharing!
i'm with alirose, just thinking about wearing pantyhose (i can't call them "tights," for some reason, that reminds me of the really thick itchy pairs i had to wear when i was young!) makes me shudder. i wear them with skirt suits, and that's *it*.
now knee-highs, those are a different story. i'll wear though with pants for a few different pairs of heels that i own - and you're right, they do improve the look of the ankle/top of the foot area :)
I LOATHE tights, but when you are wearing slacks or even skirts with boots its a must in this frigid weather.
I do wear a lot of knee socks under boots, but sometimes you need that extra layer under the pants, you know? The best I have found are from Jcrew....the waistband isn't tight and they actually go up to your waist, allelujah!
May I suggest a brand? HUE. They have really great ideas for tights/nylons. They make a low-rise waisted nylon!! And my fav - ones that are cut out at the toe area only so you can wear open toed shoes in the early spring when it's too cold to be going bare-legged, but nice enough to be wearing opened toed shoes (so no hideous nylon showing!).
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