Sex Toys On Parade

Is it me or is this the longest week ever?

Not to mention I am feeling particularly dazed since I have been up since 5AM this morning. How did that happen you might ask? Well I woke up to pee and on my way to the bathroom I remembered I had an article on Boston area sex toy shops due at noon which I could not very well work on at work (I work in a place where as soon as something remotely questionable pops up on my computer screen, someone who cares will walk by), so I put on a cup of coffee and settled down at the computer and worked steadily until 6:30AM.

I realized two things

1)I actually work really well like this. In college I would often set my alarm for 4 or 5AM to get up early and finish a paper due that day (Hey, procrastination is the spice of life!) and they usually turned out pretty great, if I do say so myself.

2)I am better at writing about sex toys than I am at writing about nearly anything else. I don't know how I feel about this yet.

While both are nice realizations to have, I could have dealt with coming to them at a more reasonable hour. But such is life.

And now a sex toy story.

When I was 19, my roomates and I went to the PRIDE, the gay march in Boston (which is ALWAYS a fabulous party). As we gathered near the Boston Public Library, staking out our vantage point, I was approached by a gorgeous glittering woman dressed in a sequined two piece outfit. She told me she loved my dress (A hawaiian print strappy sundress) She asked me if I would mind marching in the parade next to her car and handing out flyers for the bookstore she owned. She promised me a $75 gift certificate to her store in exchange for this and of course I accepted because 1) watching the parade is so much fun so of course walking in it would be even more so and 2) I like free things. So she handed me a tiara, a huge pink boa, threw some glitter on me and led me over to her car. At this point, I realized this was probably not your average bookstore I was advertising for because her car was an old school convertible COVERED in dildos. I mean front fender to back fender dildos as far as the eye could see. When she handed me the flyers I would be handing out, it was instantly apparent that this was not so much a book store as a sex toy boutique SLASH bookstore.

You might think that I decided not to do it. But if you think that then you don't know me at all because I was PSYCHED.

So I spent the duration of the parade waltzing down the street with a drag queen named Fantastia, swathed in my boa and tiara,and handing out 10% off coupons to this fabulous sex toy shop SLASH bookstore.

And later, I spent the gift certificate on City Year graduation gifts for my friends. Some may give their friends flowers when they graduate but I? I gave my friends giant jelly phalluses and breast shaped candy.

If that's not class, I don't know what is.