Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Space

The time has come for me to say "I need my space".

Well actually, that time came a few weeks ago.

Don't get me wrong: living with Adam is great, and he is as fabulous a roomate as he is a boyfriend. But sometimes a girl just needs a little space for Girl Time.

Carrie Bradshaw once referred to this Girl Time as SSB or Secret Single Behavior. The kind of things you don't want to do in front of a boy, even if that boy is your boyfriend of 3 + years. I have to be honest, and say that any SSB I may have had went out the door pretty much as soon as we moved in together over two years ago. I think it was right around when he saw me plucking my eyebrows, which I do using a small cosmetic mirror which I stick the eyebrow hairs on the edge of as I pluck them, and then use a tissue to wipe them all off and dispose of them. I am telling you, the first time Adam saw me do this it was as if I had plucked my eyebrows and then eaten the hairs, so horrified and disgusted was he.

But unless he wants to live with Frau Unibrow, them's the breaks.

In any case the point isn't that I need space to hide from Adam, or engage in beauty routines I don't want him to see because trust me he has seen them ALL. I just want my own little place to get ready, do my makeup and hair, primp, stare at myself in the mirror, etc. Maybe listen to some music while I do so.

This need is all the more urgent since Adam changed his work schedule. I get up around 6AM and leave the house around 7AM. This affords me an hour of showering, getting ready, drinking coffee, figuring out what to wear, doing my makeup without anyone rushing me. And I realize now that the reason I never minded sharing a bathroom was because we were never in it at the same time. But Adam, because of school, had to change his work schedule so he now has to leave the house at the same time as I do, which means he needs the shower/bathroom at the same time as I do as well.

Which has created a whole host of problems.

His solution to our sharing-the-bathroom-conundrum was "Why dont you do your makeup and hair while I am in the shower". Which was pretty much the ONLY option since Adam takes 20 minutes showers. But if you are a girl with curly hair who wears it straight, then you know that standing in shower steam while using a flat iron is a batttle you just can't win. Not to mention the fog on the mirror makes it impossible to do any kind of eye makeup.

So I leave I tried to the bathroom door open while I am doing my makeup but then he complains that it's cold.

And then last week while he was reaching for his aftershave and I was reaching for my perfume our hands collided and my brand new bottle of White Tea & Birch Body Mist body mist from Crabtree shattered on the ground.

So last week, Week Two of Sharing a Bathroom, I decided enough was enough and to put my plan of Getting My Own Space into action.

I looked around at some furniture stores for a vanity but everything was either way overpriced, or way too big. So I went on Craigs List in search of something more reasonable, and spent some time at TJ Maxx and the Christmas Tree Shops and within a week I had my very own Girl Space in the spare room.

Lots of space for hair stuff, lotions, makeup, perfume, nail polish, etc (click for Flickr notes). That little trunk holds my curling irons and blow dryer. I hung pictures of Monet's garden that my parents took when they were in Giverny, as well as a photo of my Nonni and her friends in the 50's because she is my fashion and beauty icon, the woman who taught me about handbags and scarves and face cream and lipstick. Even though she is gone, having her photo around reminds me to not go overboard with eyeliner.

So last night, to celebrate my new space, I poured myself a glass of chardonnay, put on's "Jazz Classics" and blew out my hair while seated at my new vanity. With no one pounding on the door asking when I would be done, and without having to stand on a cold tile bathroom floor for 45 minutes.

And this morning after my shower I did my makeup in peace in a quiet room while listening to Nina Simone and intermittenly sipping coffee. While Adam took his sweet time showering down the hall.

I am telling you, sometimes the best thing you can say in a relationship is "I need a little space".


Erin said...

Sharing a bathroom is the bane of our existence. One of our spare bedrooms is where I store my clothes, shoes, bats - and where I do my hair and makeup when me & my husband have to share, which is most mornings. I love my space.

I think the key to a happy partnership is separate bathrooms. Or at least separate sinks.

Erin said...

Um, BAGS. Not BATS. But if I did have bats I'd store them in there too.

Sarah said...

the spare room is also the home of my clothes closet, shoe rack and bag bins so I totally hear you!

LooLoo said...

I was just thinking about doing this, Matt says the same thing "get ready while I'm showering? Whats the deal, yo?" But while hes in there I'm normally a screaming banshee muttering something like "you are making me SWEAT POST SHOWER WITH YOUR STEAM HURRY! HURRY!"

*insert circus music*

I've been trolling the antique shops.

kim said...

OMG, i am SO jealous. i want some space, too!! that's a sweet SSB-room!

alisa said...

Sing it sista. Take that man you love and add atleast one and most times two toddlers all in the same bathroom and all trying to get ready at the same time. My own private hell. I love the family life but not then and I refuse to allow any child related things in my bedroom. My only sanctuary. It was hard enough giving up half my wall of closets to Jeff. Thank goodness I can still put overflow in kid's room.

Lori said...

I am jealous. Our spare bedroom is my dressing room. I sit on the floor in front of a mirror to do my hair and makeup. I just this morning email my girlfriends about a trek to IKEA to get some furniture to use as a vanity. Nothing is worse than when my man takes a shower and then shuts the door afterwards. We don't have an exhaust so it is impossible to do anything in there resembling female prep.

Erin said...

Is that a bottle of Britney Spears' "Curious" on your vanity?

Sarah said...

omg i WISH!

It's Ralph Lauren "Hot".

Jen said...

Funny post. I moved in with my boyfriend in October and it has been quite the "experience." Overall, it has been great. But quite a transition when roommate is added to romantic.