Thursday, July 06, 2006

Yesterday afternoon was like a one-two punch of retardation.

An insurgence of idiocy.

A melee of morons.

Basically my voicemail at work is not working. I try to check it, and it tells me "Hell to the no" and to consult "admin control". Well, I am admin control and I haven't the slightest idea what to do. And since we go through three different companies to have our phone lines running I had no idea who to turn to for help. I consulted the handbook for 20 minutes before realizing it was a handbook for the older phone system and we don't HAVE a handbook for the newer one. Awesome. Then of course I called the company that CAN help me only after calling the other two and sitting on hold for about 15 minutes each time. Brilliant. So I finally get this third company on the phone, explain that I can't get to my voicemails and a nice young lady assures me someone will call me back in a few minutes. Two hours go by and finally I call them, irate.

"I thought someone was going to call me back in a few minutes!?" I said
"We did call you. No one answered so we left a voicemail!"
"Um, didn't I tell you when I called that I can't check my voicemail and therin lies the problem?!"

Truth be told I found it SO stupid that I was not mad. In fact I was laughing.

At them, not with them trust me. And I still can't get my voicemails.

Then on the way home, I am at the gas station filling up, blasting Pink Martini and "Donde Estas Yolanda?" comes on to my delight, and also to the delight of the young gentleman filling up next to me.

"That's shit is the JAM!" he says to me
"Yeah it's a good song"
"So what are you baby, Mexican!?".

And i tell you I had a flashback to the first time in my life that I remember hearing the word "fuck". I was eight years old, walking down Huntington Ave with my dad and brother after spending an afternoon at the MFA. Two younger guys were walking in front of us, and a loverly woman wearing huge sunglasses in a white fur coat walked past us. One of the younger guys stopped her and asked "Excuse me do you have the time?". She told him and was about to walk away. Then he said

"Yo, baby what are you, Persian!?"
And she said "Fuck off!"
And he said "Why don't you fuck on!"
And his friend said "Shut the fuck up there are kids behind us".

That brief conversation between strangers on the street in 1988 has stayed with me all this time, and I only hope that when I have kids their first time hearing the F word can be equally as memorable and entertaining.

At any rate I did not tell that gas station man to fuck off, though I did say no and commence squeegy-ing my windsheild.


Mr. & Mrs. Cappella said...

ahahaha, I love that they left you a vm!! They definitely deserve to be laughed AT!

MarisaJosephine said...

i saw Pink Martini on PBS the other night and it was fantastic.
Which Cd do you reccomend because I want to buy one of them.....

please advise


Sarah said...

ooh get Sympathique!! It is divine. If you like I can burn it for you this weekend and send it!

reluctant housewife said...


You are a woman after my own heart! First of all, you are the first person to link to Everyday Treats - so I'll always be grateful, but then, you randomly write about Pink Martini - I kid you not, but I have a post about them all written up and scheduled for tomorrow.

Thirdly - you are a Bostonian.

'Nuff said.

The Pink Kitty said...

Nice. I love that they left you a voicemail after you told them that you can't check voicemail! heheh, certainly an occasion for laughing at them.

Happy Friday! :)

Andy said...

That woman has clearly had a big influence on your adult life. I love her as I do you. "Why don't your just FUCK OFF!"-me, in my crowning achievement to date.

Sarah said...

LOL i know. i think a small part of me was channeling that Non-Persian woman when I bought my faux fur white coat. <3

MarisaJosephine said...

i appreciate your advice
but i might go buy the cd tonight
so i can jamm to it this weekend

thanks for the burning offer though!