The Pink Shoe Diaries

God I really freaking hate bugs.

I hate mosquitos, bees make me extremely anxious, anything bigger than an ant freaks me out and even ants I find at the very least extremely irritating.

And that's just when I am outside. Do NOT get me started on bugs In My House.

You see, we have a mild ant infestation in our apartment. So far, the only room that seems to be affected by this problem is, oddly enough, the bathroom and I catch the odd straggler in the living room but so far no pests anywhere else THANK GOD. Although don't think that just because they are secluded in the bathroom doesn't mean I am cloroxing like a mofo on a twice daily basis in the kitchen and washing dishes as soon as we finish the meal (which, if you know me, is damn near crazed) I feel like once they take the kitchen it is all over for us. They will have won the war and we will have to move lest I die of horror. At least the bathroom is small and for now they can be contained.

But the fact that the bathroom is small creates another problem because how much poison can you put in a small cube of a room? And the traps we have in there now seem to be a farce in the ant's opinion since I see no difference in their appearances since we put the traps in on Saturday.

And where do they come from? (Other than from hell?). Someone at work today painted a nasty picture in my mind of ants coming up through the drain and I can NOT get the image of a writhing, crawling black mass seeping up through the drain and towards my legs while I am in the shower, my back to it, merrily singing as I shampoo. Yes, I know the ants can't swim and are most likely NOT in the pipes but in my mind not only is this a possibility, but it WILL happen next time I shower. Believe you me.

So in any case I am waging war. It know it is not TRULY an infestation yet I suppose, but to me seeing 4 or 5 ants a day in your bathroom is seeing 4 or 5 ants too many. But if you lived through my mini vacation at Loch Lyme Lodge in New Hampshire when I was 6 years old, you would know why I fear.

It was the summer of 1986 and my parents had rented a cottage for a week in Lyme, New Hampshire. Days were filled with fishing, hiking and country-fair attending and nights were filled with campfires and firefly catching. So picturesque, don't you think? Our first few days there we noticed a mild ant problem in our cabin. Just a few ants here and there sometimes. Maybe 4 or 5 in the bathroom (sound familiar?!). On our third night there I woke up and felt itchings on my arm, I looked down and there were DOZENS of ants covering my arms and my blanket. I screamed and jumped out of bed and fet more ants crush beneath my feet. In fact I was under seige by a ant deluge! I ran screaming into my parents room and they to leapt out of bed at the discovery of our new millions of guests. They were everywhere: on the beds, on furniture, on the floors, on us. It was a nightmare come true.

We woke up my brother (who OF COURSE was sleeping through the melee) and ran out of the lodge and to a motel for the night and in the morning told the lovely Lodgekeeper that we would be cutting our vacation short. And for years afterwards whenever I felt an itch on my arms at night I assumed it was another ant army come to run us out of the house.

And SO back to my bathroom. If anyone has a reccomendation for what to use OTHER than raid traps I am all ears.

And until then I shower facing the drain.