The Pink Shoe Diaries

this quitting smoking deal is not as hard as i thought i would be. usually i forget that i even used to smoke, and i see other people smoking and instead of making me jealous, i get a vague scratchy feeling in my throat. the only time it becomes an effort not to light up is when i have been drinking.


in the past month or so i have had 3 cigarettes: all three have been menthols (ick), all three have been in the precense of a chain-smoking Beth, and all three have been smoked after having been drinking for a few hours. it's not like AA though, i dont think i have to start over with my "i quit smoking a month ago" just because of a few tipsy indiscretions.


i also think it helps not to be around people who are smoking. i could never be the type of person who is like "please do not smoke around me, i am trying to quit" because that is annoying as shit. but i think the reason that i am not smoking EVERYTIME i am drinking is because most of my friends do not smoke, and thus getting a cigarette is not altogether effortless.


for instance, last night at Dee-Dee's, after my third gin&tonic i really could have used a nice slim marlboro ulta light 100. So i turn to jill:

Me:"so, did i tell you i quit smoking?"
Jill: O My God! congratulations"
Me: yeah....so do you have any smokes?
Jill: No, I left them in the car
Me: (looking dejected) oh...well..yeah..i definitely quit.

it's not even the nicotine...how can one gesture dramatically with a cigarette if one does not smoke?