The Pink Shoe Diaries

I think I’ve reached the record for most days spent watching a movie in class (five days). Who knew the Ottoman Empire was such a dense topic? Not I. Here’s what I do know though: being in college and still being around fucking children sucks. I’m not going to generalize this to mean simply freshman, because I think we all know there are seniors who act like they’re 15 years old. In any case, in this particular class, the professor put the movie in and left the room as usual. We’re having an exam on this million hour long movie next week so we’re more or less forced to pay attention. However, as soon as he left the classroom the entire back row of the class started talking, led mostly by this unfortunate looking girl who resembles what would happen if Paul Begala had sex with a turtle. She also has the misfortune of sounding like Fran Drescher with a volume-control issue. So my friend Alyssa turns around, brave soul that she is, and says “Shhhhhh please!” and then turns back around. Turtle Begala then crumpled a piece of paper and threw it at Alyssa’s head, which of course prompted me to turn around and say “Are you fucking kidding?” which she ignores and goes about talking until finally Peter, the bravest soul, turns around says out loud “Please Shut the fuck up!” as mumurs of agreement echo through the front floor. Turtle Begala then gathers her stuff, and huffs out of class saying things like “fucking hate something something.”. So all in all, in the first 5 minutes of class I heard the F word more times than I did all weekend.