The Pink Shoe Diaries

Last night started off terrible, as most nights do when one is faced with finding a parking spot at 10 o’clock at night in downtown Boston. However once I arrived at Ena’s party and took note of the open bar, things began to get better quickly. I love going to parties where I know hardly anyone, because I am forced to meet new people, and I believe that I am much more fun the first time you meet me than I ever am again, especially when you add the vodka element. Anyway, I met the ellusive Megan who heather talks about constantly and she has the good fortune of being a lot like me. We both love gays, reading and cheesy pop AND we both talk in “Top Fives”. (meaning, when someone mentions a movie you say “That’s in my top 5 favorite movies of all time” etc..) However, at some point in the night I became a pathological liar. I remember two distinct and blatant lies that I told last night for no other reason than I was bored. 1) I told someone that I volunteer for Rock The Vote and 2) I told someone else that a certain professor at UMB and I are best friends and email each other all the time. It’s ok, because pathological lying is only Step 3 on my Ladder of Drunk

Sarah’s Ladder of Drunk

1) 1-2 drink: Slight Buzz, Signified by Increased Chatter
2) 3-4 drink: More Buzz, Signified by Red Face, Increase in Volume, and Incessant Need To Complement Strangers on things like Shoes and Lack of Body Odor
3) 5 drink: Slight Drunk, Signified by Show Tune Singing and Pathological Lying
4) 6-7 drink: More Drunk: Signified by Increased Interest in Opposite Sex, Inability to distinguish “fly” from “fugly”, Belief that you look Hot, despite Eyemakeup all over face and Hair in a Nest-Like Form.
5) 8-9 drink: Most Drunk: Signified by Slurring Speech, Inability to Focus Vision, Memory Loss of things like Your Own Phone Number, and Where Your Pants Are
6) 10 drink: Obliteration: Signified by Blacking Out, usually to awake Not At Home and Not Alone.

So all in all, i was well-behaved, i made some fabulous new friends and my car was not towed: a smashing success as far as I am concerned.