Thursday, January 21, 2010

When Your List Fails You! A Moment of Truth Lifetime Movie

I know I waxed poetic yesterday about my commendable (and ever so slightly manic) list making skills but I forgot to address a very serious topic - when your list FAILS you.

This can happen in certain circumstances including but definitely not limited to the following:
1) You are drunk when you make the list
2) You leave the list at home
3) You are very distracted while shopping and just plain miss things on the list and only realize it when you are in line and at that point, glancing at the 3 people behind you and the other super long lines you dejectedly decide it's not even worth it even if it appears all you did is buy a bunch of snacks and way too many clementines (but really can you have too many clementines?).

Clearly I suffered scenario #3 last night.

I entered the grocery store with my mind on my list and my list in my hand, methodically working my way through the produce (where the bulk of the items on my list were).

At the clementine display I spent a few minutes shifting through the little crates because last time I bought clementines here the top layer of fruit was good but most of the others were way too soft and kind of gross. I was determined to get my $4.97 worth.

Another woman started rifling through the clementine crates as well and I took it upon myself to mention to her my debacle last week and how the ones on top were great but the bottom ones were all too soft and SHE told me last week hers were all rotten. Times are tough, people! We ended up finding 2 good crates with perfect fruit inside and I wished her luck and she said the same and I went on my way as I walked away she yelled after me "If mine are rotten, I will think of you!!" and I was like "Haha Ok! have a good night!" and a moment later she came up to me as I was perusing the peppers "What I meant to say is if mine are SOFT I will think of you, and if yours are rotten you can think of me" OK! Fine! I smiled and went along and she followed "I shouldn't have said what I will think of you if they're rotten". I'm like "Its seriously ok I knew what you meant!", after apologizing again and telling me her sincere wishes that my clementines are not soft OR rotten, I was finally able to take my leave of her.

That brings me to the potato display where I was delighted to find the Russet Potatoes were in perfect condition. And I love me a potato!! Last week they, like the clementines, were really soft and a soft potato is just a no no. (At this point you are probably like, why is she continuing to shop at the land of poor produce when she works down the street from Russo's? I am asking myself the same thing). Anywho, another woman remarked to me how good the potatoes were and I said "I know they were so soft last week". As I said that, Clementine lady walked by and gave me a dirty look. Clearly she thinks I am cruising the produce department for friends and my pick up line is "That (insert vegetable or fruit) was soft last week!". I know Clementine lady, you thought what we had was special but I routinely strike up conversations with strangers and usually about far more mundane topics than potentially rotten fruit.

Then I am at the fish counter and the woman behind the counter engages me in a 5 minute Wild Caught/ Farm Raised debate about which I have no real opinion, I just want my sockeye salmon please.

Then Clementine lady caught up with me in the "International Aisle" and wanted advice on salsa and to reiterate that she does not fine ME to be rotten, just the clementines she bought last week.

Then there was this couple holding hands while attempting to maneuver a shopping cart up and down the aisles which just caused needless backup and quite a few dirty looks (and not just from ME, thank you very much Twitter/Facebook friends who were appalled that I found this to be "gross")

For the record, Adam and I have been known to hold hands but not when it inconveniences other people i.e. at the supermarket, walking down a crowded sidewalk, on an escalator)

So with all this going on is it any wonder I forgot: Greek yogurt, shredded carrots, baby carrots, bananas, raisins, whole wheat bread and last but not least, diet coke?

I think not.

I crossed off every thing I DID buy, when I got home and am determined to hit the market today, interruption free, and complete my food shopping mission.

This time I promise not to even think about soft fruit.


Jeannie said...

HAHAHA! I can't believe you cheated on Clementine Lady!

kate.d. said...

so last night i went to the grocery store after work, which i usually do on the wknds, but we have a potluck on saturday and i had to get provisions for jason to make mac and cheese. do you know what i forgot to buy? what i forgot to even *put on the list*??


i am not even kidding you.

ryssee said...

Don't make eye contact on the go-back. Really, I'm a nice person and very, very friendly, but not here. Eye contact is ok in line here but for some reason, not before that, unless you love the Clementine Ladies. I can't begin to list the other reasons why, I'd need to start blogging again for that. :)
I would be forgiven for all the misses besides the Diet Coke.