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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Mean Sidewalks of Quincy

All I need to know about walking I learned from driving.


Maybe that should be vice versa.

But still, many of the same rules apply to each. If you’re going slow, move over and let people pass you. Likewise, Just because you’re in a hurry doesn’t mean anyone else is. Look both ways when crossing an intersection. Honk if you’re horny. Etc…

Yesterday I encountered the walking version of the crazy old lady driver.

Let me paint the picture for you.
I was towards the end of my apr├Ęs-work walk. I had kept up jogging pace (listening to Hex Hector remixes will do that for you) so I was looking forward to slowing it down for the last quarter mile back to my apartment. As I waited to cross a busy street, I noticed an older lady on her cell phone leisurely walking on the sidewalk I was about to cross onto. She was about 10 feet ahead of me when I crossed and I easily caught up to her since she was busy talking on the phone and walking pretty leisurely and I was Working It Out.

So I stepped out onto the road to pass her, so as not to bump into her, and went on my way. Suddenly she was off her phone and literally RIGHT behind me. I could see her shadow and out of the corner of my eye when I turned my head. I quickened my pace and still she was right behind me, as in like 2 steps away. So I slowed down and moved over figuring she for some reason had to get past me but she slowed too. It was freaking me right out.

It wasn't that she was keeping pace with me it was that she was RIGHT behind me. If I had stopped short I think she would have plowed right into me.

I started jogging and I swear she was jogging right up close behind me. I have no idea what she was trying to prove? That she could keep up with me? No shit I am like the least in shape person ever. And she was all f’ing with my pace so in the end I ended up pretty much running back to my apartment. And as I veered into my driveway I swear she slowed down and started walking again.

WTF!

Part of me was pissed off at her.

Another part of me wanted to ask her to meet me there tomorrow because believe you me I have never jogged all the way home.

5 comments:

Caity said...

ha, excellent.

If you're ever in the mood for a walking buddy, let me know ... I need someone to kick my ass into gear and get me moving!

danielle said...

this was hilarious!

Jenny said...

That is crazy! You should have just stopped and pretended to tie your shoe or something, to see if she did knock into you!

Amanda said...

Oh my gosh that would drive me crazy!! It bugs me to no end when someone is walking RIGHT behind me like that. I can't handle it. I think I probably would have stopped and stared at her until she passed me.

Jenn said...

This story is awesome, hilarious, and scary, all in one.