Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Stick It To Me

I think bumper stickers are a less permanent version of tattoos for cars. They are a way of expressing yourself. Some people absolutely refuse to have even one. Some thing one or two is nice. Sometimes more than that works. And there is definitely such a thing as having too many.

I've cut myself off at three tattoos on my body, and one bumper sticker on my car. Pretty much since I got my car I have had a white oval bumper sticker on it. Something classic, not outrageous, that denoted something important to me

It was the least offensive political bumper sticker I could find at the time (unlike say, the guy who I drove behind today truck was littered with bumper stickers that said things like "Obama Bin Lyin" and a picture of the Obama campaign symbol with the phrase "Got Birth Certificate?" underneath. I am all for differing opinions but that is just tacky. The do make the GOP version of my sticker, if that's your bag. I'm just saying.

ANYWHO the point is, my sticker has become so tattered and bedraggled (It basically just says "Em" now) that the time has come to replace it. I debated not having one at all but I like having a little something back there. A little vehicular glimpse into who I am. So I hit the e-streets in search of my new car tattoo.

Let's just say, there are some interesting ones out there.

Sticking within the confines of the same sized, same shaped sticker (since I doubt I can get all the remnants off anyway), let's see what's out there.

Fist of all, for the Corolla driver who wants to make absolutely sure people know that you are driving in Corolla - may I offer this? It reminds me of the Honda driver I frequently see on my commute whose vanity license plate says "Honda". Really?

Or perhaps your love of Nuggets is such that you must allow the driving world to know about it?

Why limit your adoration of sharks to one week? Celebrate them year round with this bumper sticker!

I personally am scared to death of sharks so I would choose to celebrate a less imposing creature (but nonetheless respectable). Don't let their small stature fool you. Hermit crabs are as wily as can be. I used to have one, a persnickety bastard named Melville, who one day just disappeared. One day he was in his fish bowl, climbing around on rocks and lounging by a fake plant and the next day he was GONE! How he got out I will never know and we never recovered his remains. If that is not wily, climbing up a glass fishbowl using a claws, I have no idea what is.

I read somewhere that low potassium could be why my left eye is twitching so maybe paying more attention to this fruit would help? For the person who really thinks this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Sometimes I wonder if some of these are meant to be tongue in cheek. Such as this for fans of the Southern Outer Banks?

Although in my case this would probably be the most apt. And decidedly less tongue in cheek.

So as you can see I have my work cut out for me. What is the one point I want to get across to people driving behind me? A charity I support? A favorite hobby of mine?
Aaaaaand Here we go.


Anonymous said...

I am not a political person, but I saw a hilarious bumper sticker the other day...

"I'll hug your elephant if you'll kiss my ass." (With the elephant and donkey logos on each side, of course.)


Jenny said...

I love the Wine one. I have only 1 as well, and it's a college alumni sticker. I wish I had the Wine one!

Sarah said...

I know me too. My only concern is to the cops manning the Quincy SHore Drive sobriety check point it may not seem that cute!