Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Pink Shoe Driving School - Lesson #1: That Weird Triangle Sign

Alright class settle down. It's time to get started on our first lesson of the day here at Pink Shoe Drivng School.

It has come to my attention that there is a road sign out there that has a number of you perplexed. You seem, for the most part, to have the stop sign down. And I am mostly pleased with your performance vis-a vis traffic lights (although maybe a refresher course on what constitutes a yellow light is in order). But it appears the Yield Sign is causing much confusion among you.

I know I know. The big, bad triangle can be VERY perplexing. To make things easier here is a definition of the word in the triangle.

Pronunciation: \ˈyēld\
to surrender or submit (oneself) to another

Ok now Let's start with a pop quiz.

You are driving on a secondary road that runs parallel too and then merges with a main road. This pesky triangle sign is on your side of the road as you approach the main road. What do you do?

a) Speed up and try to pass whoever is already ON the road.
b) Come to a complete stop with your blinker on and wait for some good Samaritan on the main road to stop and let you on
c) Check for oncoming traffic and, keeping in mind that those on the main road in this situation have the right of way and you do not, then do this weird thing called merging where you ease your way onto the road, in what I like to call zipper fashion.

I will give you a hint, it's not a or b.

Every day I feel that I am either stuck behind someone doing B or almost killed by someone attempting A when I think that the word "Yield" is pretty blunt as to what is expected of you when that sign is present. Yield! Submit! Stop driving like a scaredy-cat or a roided-out jerk! There IS a happy medium and it's called JUST BEING A GOOD DRIVER.

I have decided to vent my frustrations not by basely gesticulating at these drivers but rather by concocting a condescending blog post.

Sorry I did not mean to yell at you.

In any case you're homework assignment is to attempt to successfully yield while driving today. You will know you're doing it right when there is no horn blaring behind you and no finger waving in front of you.


Melissa said...

I love your driving posts! I always agree with you and could never phrase it as well as you do!

Julie Q said...

UGH! Gotta love Boston driving stories, but even bad drivers are not enough to make me take the T to work :)

Anonymous said...

You are a very good driving instructor. I wish I could make the whole freaking state read this post, as it would make a world of difference in my morning commute.

Sarah said...

Haha Julie you are right. There was a time when I could never imagine driving to four years into a Quincy to Newton daily commute and I really would much rather do this than have to take the train.

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Oh man, welcome to the western suburbs. I think to live out here you have to drive like an a-hole. (Myself excluded obviously...)

margalit said...

So timely. I live a couple of blocks from a very busy intersection with a yield going into the right lane. I drive this road every single day, and I always have the right of way, as I'm going straight and DO NOT have the yield sign. At least once a week some Masshole pushes past me, blaring on the horn, giving me the finger, from the Yield sign. I guess it does not apply to them because they're special Newton snowflakes.

A.K said...

Classic! At least once a day I am behind someone that comes to a complete stop for a few minutes instead of figuring out how to yield and merge, on the strange freeway entrance by my house. It's chaos, mildly funny most days until I think I'm gonna die. You are hilarious.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

This just confirms that I suck as a driver...

Kate said...

Oh, the ever-confusing yield sign. There's one at an intersection near my house that I hate, hate, HATE! Usually I'm on the road that has the right of way, but I've seen enough people blow through the yield sign that I'm pretty sure one of these days I'm going to get hit by some ignoramus turning left. I've considered writing to the city so they can replace it with a stop sign in, oh, say, five years. Gotta love the government.

BTW, my verification word blogger asked me to type in? Plardoxy. Who comes up with this stuff?

rooroo said...

people not understanding "yield" is what makes navigating a rotary so g.d. annoying. how hard is it to just... yield?