Monday, January 26, 2009

I'm a Hyper Hypo

So, I am a total hypo. A somewhat closted one, but a hypo nonetheless.

And watching several episodes of House over the past few weeks has not helped matters. A slight headache is a brain bleed. A twinge in my arm is sacroidosis (not even sure what that is but it's mentioned in every episode). And so on and so forth.

These aren't things I say out loud but little manias I keep to myself throughout the day .

In any case, yesterday I was sitting on the bed, about to paint my toenails when I noticed a LARGE bruise on my calf. Like about the size of a fist? And I have no idea how I got it. I don't bruise easily AT ALL (In fact when my car's trunk closed on my arm last month that was the first time I can remember having a bruise in a long time). I was always pissed that I didn't bruise easily because when my brother and I engaged i fistifuffs as kids I yearned for a HUGE bruise to really get him into trouble with. But it never happened. Damn.

So anyway, yeah. Monstrous, mysterious bruise. It was really freaking me out because hello "Bruises easily" is a sympton of a million things and if I have a huge bruise but no recollection of an injury that isn't that "bruising easily"? I needed a test to see if this was in fact what was going on. I needed some kind of mild trauma to see if a bruise would appear so I could then proceed to freak out.

"Punch me in the arm", I said to Adam.
"What?" he said
"Punch me hard in the arm, let's see if I bruise".
"No way", he replied.

WTF? What's the point of having a boyfriend if they won't wail on you when you ask?

SO I took matters into my own hands, literally and punched myself in my thigh as hard as I could (which, admittedly is not all that hard). That was last night and as of today? No bruise. Phew.

And I realized this morning that bruise is on my leg at the same area that our glass coffee table hits my leg and I have walked right into the sharp corners on that piece more time than I care to remember so I guess that explains that!


Laura said...

I had to get rid of the coffee table because of that... now I think I might have to do something witht he doorknobs

Andy said...

I feel like I almost literally take out your coffee table every time I pass it. When I come over, I need childproofing.

Jill said...

I get bruises all of the time so I've given up trying to figure out where they come from. I finally got it checked out a few years ago and my doctor counted 40 bruises on me!! She seriously thought I was being physically abused!!

Turns out, my blood vessels are close to the surface so I bruise more easily than others. Kinda lame but at least I got to get my brother in PLENTY of trouble when we were kids. :)

Sarah said...

Andy - I am waiting for one of us to fall onto it and crash through to our peril, Heathers-style!

Melissa said...

I'm exactly the same way, except I voice my ridiculous fears of cancer, blod clots, etc. to my poor fiancee. He thinks I'm nuts, he's probably right

Princess Extraordinaire said...

When I was in college I swore I had everything we I am a little more chill about it but fret nonetheless...

danielle said...

when you two crash the table, i want to be there and i want to videotaping it ONLY to then watch it in slo-mo. You know it'd look awesome in slo-mo.

snedapants said...

According to House, it's always lupus. Always.

Jenny said...

Ha ha ha. That entire story is hilarious.

And the same thing used to happen to me all the time, except it was from the foot of my wrought-iron bed! Ouch.

Jenn said...

Ha, while I am not a hypo, my junior year in college my friends almost turned me into one. I had the following symptoms:

1. weight loss (not extreme, maybe like 10 pounds)
2. unexplained bruising

They had me convinced there was something seriously wrong with me based on these things even though I had no symptoms of any kind and felt fine. I went to health services and made them do a CBC!

Um, there was nothing wrong with me. Thanks friends!