Monday, December 15, 2008

When PMS and Crock Pots Collide: A Ten Step Process

Let's just say:

1. It is Sunday. You decide that a crock pot chicken dish is in order for Monday night's dinner because you have to go Christmas shopping after work and your boyfriend has a final after work and neither of you will be disposed to cooking anything when you get home. You unearth the crock pot from the bowels of the pots and pan cabinet, set it up on the counter, plug it in, make sure it's set on "off" and get together the ingredients so in the morning you can throw everything in. You feel accomplished.

2. Decide since the night is still young to be a hero at work and bake some peanut butter brownies to bring in. You feel dedicated.

3. Wake up in the morning, shower, get ready all that jazz. Go into the kitchen and carefully layer the sliced onions, chicken and marinade. Set on low. You feel satisfied.

4. Have a crazy day at work. Towards the end of the day, recieve IM from boyfriend who gets home a few hours before you . He doesn't mention how awesome the apartment smells as it usually does when dinner has been cooking in the crock pot all day. Feel perplexed.

5. Ask said boyfriend, did you turn it from Low to Warm? He replies BRB and upon his return tells you "Hey did you know you didn't plug in the crock pot this morning". Feel enraged.

5a. &*%&@!

6. Immediately feel suspicious. Didn't you plug it in last night. Don't you ALWAYS!? Haven;t you been crockpotting for years and never forgot to plug it in. Don't you DISTINCTLY remember doing so. And isn't your boyfriend fond of unplugging appliances that aren't in use!? Isn't it ALL HIS FAULT!! Say as much to your boyfriend who is somehow appalled and resigned at the same time. Feel INDIGNANT.

7. Realize an hour later that didn't you also bake brownies last night? And didn't you unplug the crock pot to plug in the Kitchen Aid and then probably not plug it back in. Ooooooh. Feel relenting and sheepish....

8. Come home and realize that 2 hours has elapsed since the discovery by your boyfriend of the uncooked chicken that has sat on the counter in a pot for 10 hours. And that in that time he has made NO effort to dispose of it. Flip out a little. Feel SO PUT UPON BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO EMPTY THE DISGUSTING CHICKEN INTO THE TRASH.

10. Your boyfriend offers to order Chinese food because everyone knows Crab Rangoon cures all ills. Feel that all is right in the world again. F*ck a crock pot.


Lisa P said...

I absolutely love the new layout! And f*ck a crock pot INDEED!

Sarah said...

Thanks Lisa! Glad you agree.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, that's tragic! It is true, however, that Crab Rangoon can instantly cure what's wrong in the world. Yummy.

Jenny said...

Oh no! That stinks, but at least you had tasty Chinese to cure it all. :)

AmyD said...

*snort* This is kinda of perfect since I'm trying so hard to be a good wife who makes dinner (and asked you for advice on the subject)! DULY NOTED about the importance of plugging in said f*cked crock pot. ;o)

And you are very right: crab rangoons DO cure pretty much everything. Good work outta Adam!

Sarah said...

HA Amy I definitely think I should have prefaced my email to you with "First and foremost, remember to plug it IN!"

Jill F said...

I love f*ck a crockpot.It's going to be my new catchphrase.

Melly said...

Did you accidentally leave out the part where you fling everything into the garbage when you walk in the door, yelling at the top of your lungs what a lazy $*# he is all the while?


Oh. Maybe that's just what happens at my house.

Carry on.

(LOVE your stuff, btw!!)