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Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Lost Art of Subtlety

As a woman, it is my wont to be obnoxious as F sometimes. Adam accepts this as part of my charm and has devised a means of thwarting me. That means, is complete ignorance.

For instance, sometimes I have this block against outright asking for something. I think this stems from my childhood when, instead of just asking 'Can I have some lemonade" and being possibly told "No", I would instead say "I wish I could have some lemonade...but I know I can't" to which the response would be "Of course you can!" Anyway because of this block, sometimes I opt for hint-dropping instead of just outright asking for something. I am sorry but sometimes I want you to OFFER to do something for me, I don't want to have to ask. Asking is just entirely too much effort for a leisurely Wednesday afternoon.

So yesterday, I am chatting with Adam online sporadically throughout the afternoon. Now as I alluded to in the previous post, I have this disgusting cold that makes me not want to do anything. Under the list of "Anything' falls "Going to my parents house after work to walk the dog" which is my job to do on Mondays and Wednesdays. Since Adam has class on those evenings he walks the dog Tuesdays and Thursdays and we split Fridays. So anyway it was Wednesday and I know it was my night to walk the dog and I also know it was Adam's first night of classes for the semester. But still. When I don't feel well, the world revolves around me. So I started hinting in the early afternoon.

Adam: How are you feeling?
Me: Not good. I am really looking forward to going home and relaxing after work. Oh, well first I have to go walk the dog....damn I forgot about that.
Adam: ........


Ok, the framework has been laid. Now let's build this baby up.

Later that afternoon
Adam: Work is nuts today!
Me: I know work is nuts for me too...I should really stay late today since I was out yesterday. But I have to go walk the dog.
Adam: ......

Ok so, he's not responding. That's alright. Work is nuts, he can't focus on my subtleties. Let's kick it up a notch.

An hour or so later
Me: Oh I know you wanted Gnocchi with Pesto for dinner tonight but we don't have any gnocchi. I could probably go get some after work but since I have to walk the dog first I may not be able to get dinner in time for you to eat before hockey
Adam: Oh well, we can have something else.Thanks anyway!

DAMNIT

Finally the afternoon was drawing to a close. My hints had fallen on deaf ears and my walking the dog seemed an inevitable fate. The time for subtlety had passed.

Adam: Well I am heading out, Have a good rest of the...
Me: WALK THE DOG FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!
Adam: Uh, no.

Curses. Foiled again!!

Really, I knew he wouldn't be able to since he had class immediately after work and so would not be passing by my parents' neighborhood as he usually did. But still. A gal can hope! (and hint).

So alas I did sit in abominable traffic last night to go to my parents house and walk the dog. He was appropriately cute though, so I was not mad. And then in a fit of energy I also washed my car, a novelty for a person who lives in a building managed by people who don't allow car washing and have no pity for people with black cars that look dirty 3 days after you was it. So while I may have lost the battle....my car looks great!

6 comments:

Nicky said...

I think the fine art of the subtle hint is something only women can detect. I'm starting to believe that only females of our species have the antennae to pick up the frequency of a dropped hint. PJ's so oblivious to them that it's really not even worth the energy.
I have resorted to not-so-subtle tactics like, "For Chrisssakes, will you clean the basement already???!" And sometimes even that falls on deaf ears. Sigh...

Alisa said...

Women can hear the subtlety because we WANT to. We want to nurture and care and please. Men are oblivious because then they don't have to do stuff and they can claim ignorance and then blame you for not being straightforward. I don't hint anymore I ask outright and give specific instructions. :)

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Haha I am the queen of the art of subtlety that goes unnoticed. I'll be all "Whoa, my feet are in rough shape, I should really get a pedicure but I know I can't..." and my husband is all "..." whereas I would like him to say "Go get one!"

Soula said...

this post so seriously so funny!

Jenn said...

Seriously, having a husband who gets the hints is not all it's cracked up to be!! In my life I have the me: "ugh, these shoes don't look good with anything" him: "no, you can't go get new ones today" He ALWAYS knows what I'm going for before I ever get to it. It's almost worse than asking outright sometimes!!!

Rebecca said...

Okay, I have to say - I loved loved loved this. I could just SEE this happening. That is hysterical.