Zen and the Art of Self Checkout

Last Monday, I decided to hit up the supermarket on my break at work to stock up on some last minute things for Thanksgiving. I only had about 10 items and so when I was done shopping I headed to self checkout as I usually do when I have a small basket of things rather than a carriage and proceeded to check myself out. Now, at this point there was no line for self checkout, though the lines to be checked out by an actual person were pretty long and filled with people with whose carriages overflowing with food.

As I started ringing my items in, quite a few of them had to be keyed in instead of just scanned since it was produce with no code on it. That’s fine, I didn’t mind. The pair of old biddies behind me DID mind however because when it took me more than 5 seconds to locate “celeriac” on the produce menu they started squawking

“She shouldn’t be in this line!” one of them said.
“This is unfair!” the other replied “This is an EXPRESS LINE”.

At this point I looked up and saw that yes, this was an express line but you know what Grandma? I have under 15 items. So zip it.

(Happy Holidays, you know?)

So I continue scanning my items and each time I go to punch in a piece of produce I get long and loud sighs from the ancient peanut gallery behind me. So as I am paying I turn and say “Excuse me, ma’am? This is the express line and I have under 15 things. And if you have a problem with it there are several other self checkout stands”

Then I clutched my bagged celeriac to my chest and stalked out, fuming.

Later that night I related this story to my mom like “Can you believe this!?” and she remarked that people do get ridiculous around the holidays. I will always fight for my right to use self checkout and not be judged though. That is my right as an American, and a grocery shopper.

So this weekend Adam and I popped into another supermarket to pick up a few ingredients for truffles I was making later in the day. As we approached self checkout I got in the shortest line which happened to be because the only other person in line was a woman with approximately One Billion Items scanning and bagging to her heart’s content. I looked up at the sign and saw that it wasn’t an Express Checkout so really she could have as many items as she wanted up there, technically. And if I had a problem with it I could get inone of the longer lines. But with my luck any of those lines could contain a Pays with Pennies or WORSE - Pays with a Check! So I waited. Patiently. And when she had paid and was still taking forever to bag her stuff I just went ahead and started scanning my things. But then it wouldn’t let me because the baggage area was full and though the woman noticed this she made no effort to clear some space amongs her Billion Items for my four or five measly items. And she was taking so long to bag her food. So I waited. And she seemed to be taking EVEN MORE TIME since she saw me waiting. So I turned to Adam and was all “UGH She shouldn’t be in this line!” and he replied “It’s not really fair”.

And then I stopped. Truth be told – she has every right to self scan and bag her One Billion Items in self check out. I mean I don’t know why that would be more convenient than having someone else doing it for you but there is no sign saying you cant.

So I was no better than those old biddies behind me last week. I was judging in the self checkout lane.

Of course this did not stop me from reaching over her to grab a handful of bags and bag my stuff before she was even halfway done with hers but you know, that woman did give me a special gift this holiday season. The lesson I learned from the woman with One Billion Items is one of self awareness and one of not judging

. So as you go forth this holiday season, take this advice with you: Judge not who goes before you in the self checkout line lest ye be judged as well.