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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

R. Kelly Isn't The Only One With Pee Hangups



The other day I passed by the ladies room at work and found the door propped open. I walked in to find a few of my coworkers preening in the mirror so I asked “What’s up with the door?”. They looked at me like “What do you mean?”. So I reiterated “Why is the door propped open?”. And one of them was like “Oh it’s just nice to leave it open, get some air.”.

A few problems with this statement.

1) Why are you hanging out in the bathroom so much that you need to get some air.

2) Why does the idea of other coworkers walking by the ladies room being able to hear you pee not freak you out?

I went to shut the door so I could avail myself of the facilities and one of them said “OMG don’t you live with a boy? What’s the big deal?’

First of all, I don’t think living with your boyfriend of almost four years is the same thing as living with just “a boy”. Adam has reached the status where there is basically nothing I would not do because OMG MY BOYFRIEND IS IN THE ROOM. Lucky him. Second of all, I loathe the idea of people hearing me pee, which they clearly could if the door were left open. Now, I realize in a public restroom other people will hear but that is okay because THEY THEMSELVES are probably about to do the same thing. Or already did. Kind of how like even though those communal dressing rooms are awful, you feel less weird about stripping down in front of a bunch of women you don’t know because they are doing it too. And because at Frugal Fannie's they serve booze.

I wish.

If I were to go to your house and needed to use your bathroom, I would run the water while doing so. Even if we were pretty good friends. Maybe this makes me a freak but suffice it to say if I don’t want a good friend hearing me pee I certainly don’t want the VP of my company to.

About an hour later I walked by the Ladies Room again and the door was once again open. I closed it, and realized this will be my battle to fight and win. I cannot work in an office where propping up the bathroom door is cool. What's next? Sending Outlook Invitations "Come listen to me pee at 3PM?". Beacuse clearly that would be the next step.

It’s me vs the Pee Listeners.

Stay Tuned for the Epic Battle of the Handicap Bathroom.

16 comments:

Libby said...

Fresh air? Yeesh.

Can you ask some male coworkers to loiter around outside the open door? That might do the trick.... Actually, no, that could land the guys in the middle of a nasty harassment case- never mind, very bad idea. Still, there's got to be some way to get those ladies to realize they're better off with the door closed!

Lori said...

Get a Fresh Breeze airwick for them and tell them to keep the door shut. That is honestly a bizzare story. If they continue with the open door policy I would combat crazy with insanely loco and invite them to hold the toilet paper roll for you upon your next trip adding that you require exactly 6.5 sheets for proper wiping...no more no less. That will send them running for the hills and most likely kicking out stop on the door on their way out so you don't follow them.

Cricky said...

That's just disgusting really.

Sarah said...

dude i know. and they think i am uptight! i am glad i'm not the only one :-P

Gretta James said...

That's a bit odd and I'm a no hang up kind of girl.

Gretta x

Anonymous said...

There were NO DOORS AT ALL on the bathrooms in my high school. I mean, there were doors on the stalls, but the rooms themselves opened directly into the hallway! God forbid your door had no lock on it and it went flying open or something. What if a boy you liked was passing by? Some things are best kept private. Seriously, who spends so much time in the loo that they need "fresh air"? Get some bathroom spray and get over it. Your coworkers are NASTY! I'm with you, girl. Keep fighting the good fight.

Meg said...

Not only is it weird for the people in the bathroom, but it's weird for the people walking past/sitting near the bathroom. I'd feel compelled to avert my eyes every time I was in the vicinity. Plus, even if you're not peeing, who wants to preen with the whole office watching? I like to smooth my hair and reapply my lipstick in semi-private.

When I was in college, my roommate had a pee stalker. Every time she went to the bathroom the girl would show up, but she wouldn't pee until my roommate left, like she was waiting so she could listen. It was probably coincide, but we preferred to think otherwise. Perhaps the pee stalker now works in your office.

Sarah said...

Meg you are freaking me out!

Melissa said...

I'm the same way! I hate having others hear me pee and I run water at friend's houses as well! I don't care if my boyfriend hears me, but if his roommates are home, I run the water. I'm also not a huge fan of my own roommates hearing me pee (I haven't lived with them too long!) So glad it's not just me! :)

kate.d. said...

you know, i've never understood that weird relationship idea that using the bathroom while your partner is also in the bathroom, or peeing with the door open is some sort of closeness indicator. um, no! more like an indication of impatience, lack of boundaries, or need of a better morning routine setup!

in my five years of dating jason i have never once found myself in a situation where i felt the need to use the bathroom while he was in it for some reason, or to not take .5 seconds to close the door. and hope i never will! sorry, but to me using the bathroom = personal time in which nobody else should be involved! :)

Krista said...

Using the bathroom for me is a very personal thing. I flush while peeing if someone strange is in there...which is often (I'm probably the strange one).

Kate said...

Wait a second, peeing in such a way that co-workers walking by COULD HEAR YOU? Yeah, I just broke into a cold sweat. These girls need some schooling.

Kimba said...

What about people in the bathroom in your office who find it prefecly normal to do their business (#2) and let the world hear and then walk out and know those people know what you did.

I'm in a tissy right now over this! :)

Sarah said...

HAHAHHAHA! Kimba i think you and I are on the same page with this one.

Anonymous said...

Leaving the door propped open is uncalled for, BUT if I had a friend who ran water when peeing at my house...I'd yell, "I know you are peeing in there!!"

Jenni said...

That is really weird. Are you friends with these people outside of work?

...I hope not! :)