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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Thumbs Up!

Newsflash:

The middle finger is trite.

Seriously does anyone even find it offensive anymore? A lot has changed in the world since I was six years old on the bus home from school and Chris King told me that sticking up your middle finger is cool and that I should do it to our bus driver, Beth (which I totally did and then got in loads of trouble for). Most of the time when I see the finger being given it is in jest, the same way you would call a dear friend a bitch.

Maybe that's just my group of friends.

In any case, the only place the middle finger seems really prevalent these days is on the road. Road Ragers or victims of Road Rage LOVE giving the finger. Clearly if someone cares so little about you that they are willing to risk your life and theirs by suddenly swerving in front of you, you expressing your outrage via a puny middle finger isn't going to mean much. And do you even feel better after giving it?

I know I don't.

Now, I am not suggesting we abandon all crude gestures completely, that would make the world a very boring place. What I am suggesting is a smarter, cooler alternative to the middle finger:

The Sarcastic Thumbs Up.

That is what I am all about these days. Traversing the Columbia Road rotary, the Expressway and the Pike on a daily basis gives me much cause to use the ol' finger but I find the sarcastic thumbs up is a much better gesture. Because most of the time what I mean to emote is not "Fuck You!" but rather "NICE JOB ASSHAT". The Sarcastic Thumbs Up is an essential tool for this expression.

I also like it because I think the finger is like "I hate you, your cutting me off ruined my day" where as the sarcastic thumbs up is more like "I'm so much smarter than you, you peon. Enjoy life as a horrible driver".

PLUS as someone who is paranoid that at any given traffic altercation will result in the end of my life, I think a thumbs up is less enraging to a crazy driver than the middle finger. Because most crazy drivers are stupid and most stupid people don't understand sarcasm. So they will be all "I KNEW changing lanes without my blinker and nearly hitting that girl was an awesome idea".

So yeah: Sarcastic Thumbs Up - get into it.

19 comments:

Amanda* said...

Oh hell YEAH! I have been all about the sarcastic thumbs up ever since I moved out here. Much more effective. Definitely.

Gretta James said...

Jerk Boy and I put our middle finger up at each other ALLL the frigging time. It's away of saying at this moment you're pissing me off but I love you anyway.

We know what it means and we laugh.

Gretta xx

Sasky said...

Yesterday some lady cut me off and then proceeded to BEEP at ME! The nerve of bitches. I gave her the sarcastic 'thank you' wave and then an angry middle finger... Not realizing that her 10-11 year old daughter was staring right at me from the passenger seat. Oops!

And you're right, I did not feel better afterwards. Thumbs up it is!

Nicky said...

Hm. I don't know how good I'd be at pulling off a sarcastic thumbs-up. I'd probably accidentally look happy about someone driving like an a-hole. I'm thinking instead that I might pretend I'm Scottish and go for the "Up yer kilt" gesture. You know - back of the hand facing the perpetrator with two fingers making a v in the air. Otherwise known as the "European Middle Finger". LOL.

Sarah said...

Oh lord I have done that too!! Given the finger only to see a child looking back at me (which also makes me wonder WHY someone with a child in their car is driving like such an asshole but that is neither here nor there).

A said...

I flip off my friends and call them bitches, too (just so you know you're not alone in this).

Meg said...

I'm all over the sarcastic thumbs up, both on the road and off. Good call.

MarisaJosephine said...

sarcastic thumbs
much better than middle fingah
awesome

charlotteharris said...

the thumbs up is a great idea. kinda like when someone flips me off, i smile a big jolly smile and wave... it makes them even madder. that really sends them into the high blood pressure zone and you can just drive off with a laugh!

Amanda* said...

Oooh...yeah, I forgot about that. When someone flips me the bird I totally smile, wave, and blow kisses.

Yeah, I'm going to get shot one of these days.

Sarah said...

HAHA yes, nothing enrages a road-asshole more than being blown a kiss!

Lys said...

I need to try that next time I fly to Mass - sounds like it would be way more effective. ;) Florida peeps wouldn't get it, at all.

RED said...

I LOVE IT! I do the sarcastic wave, but never the sarcastic thumbs up! Thank you Sarah, you've opened up a whole new genre of traffic insults - LOVE IT!

AmyD said...

This is PERFECT. I totally could have used this advice yesterday. ;o)

But blowing kisses? Amanda is my HERO! Haha!

Andy said...

1) Amen.

2) Sarcastic thumbs up at my brother's wedding reception? I hope you were referring to my dancing! (j/k- i know that you're not giving the party the sarcastic thumbs up)

Sarah said...

that was actually a GENUIINE thumbs up for the Open Bar!! I just didn't have a photo of a sarcastic one. :-P

C'tina said...

AND the Sarcastic "OK" sign...

NY KAT said...

That's a good one! Instead of using my middle finger, I've been trying to salute people or clap for them...I think I like the thumbs up better.

Rebecca said...

OMG, cracking up on the "AssHat" title. Love it. Never heard it before. Plan on using it. ;)