Too Much
While food shopping the other day, I overheard a couple discussing one of my favorite topics, gay men. The girlfriend's contention was that her boyfriend was biggoted while his stance was he didn't care if someone was gay as long as they were not blatantly gay.
I have heard this argument before, from people who I am ashamed to say I know and it infuriates me. And while the international aisle of Stop and Shop is no place to set the record straight (or gay, as it were), it doesn't mean I can't unleash a diatribe on all of you.
First of all, if you are only biggoted towards a minority when they are too much like what the essence of that minority is, you are biggoted as a motherf*cker.
Second of all, I don't refute the existance of "blatantly" gay men, because "blatantly" something people exist everywhere, from every gender and sexual orientation. Girls can be blatantly girly and talk about shoes and bags and makeup all the time (ahem). And straight men can be BLATANTLY straight and talk about sports and tits and drinking beer all the time. In fact, I find a "blatantly" gay man" scads more interesting than I could ever find a "blatantly" straight man. If you're going to stereotype someone at all, why get pissed off when they wholly display that stereotype?
Secretly I think that any guy who feels this way about gay men is simply threatened. Will and Grace did for Gay Best Friends what Sex and the City did for Manolo Blahniks, plain and simple. I don't want to belittle a struggle but in plain english Gay Men are Hot. Every girl wants to know a gay man and have a gay best friend. And let's face it, straight men are last season's purse on clearance at TJ Maxx: some are good looking and we all have one but they are EVERYWHERE and we want the Real Deal.
Of course there are the straight men who embrace the gay men (so to speak) and they are a classic that never goes out of style. Open-mindedness will always be the sexiest trait anyone can posess, gay or straight.
So for those who feel it neccesary to pass judgement on gay men, or anyone, for being too whatever they are, know that that labels you as Too Ignorant.
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18 comments:
Great post. :)
Amen, I knew Matt was a keeper when i brought him to my friends Will and Edgar's wedding (we called them "wilger") and when he saw them together he said "awww aren't they cute"
Very well said.
Ha! I love it! Isn't it every girl's dream to have a Will (gay best friend)...or is it just mine??
You go girl! i LOVE my gay friends and think they are so fun to be around and much more interesting in many ways then my straight ones.Hell, how do you think I got to own 475 pairs of shoes?
Fabulous post and dead on! Sometimes people's ignorance just drives a gal batty and, knowing my temper, I would have cussed both of them out in the middle of Stop & Shop for being close minded idiots.
kim, the discount-store metaphor is my favorite part too :)
speaking of which, i need a new spring/summer work bag....
i prefer to call them ig'nant.
<3 danielle
You are right, I AM fabulous.
Preach it Sista! :)
I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree!
You said it, girl! It's love me, love my gay best friend. Especially since he calls me every single day. As one of my friends recently remarked, "Tell your other half I said hello...and I don't mean Ryan." LOL.
Also, I agree with LooLoo - one of the reasons I knew PJ was "The One" was when I brought him to a gay cocktail party. My honey was far more interested in the fabulous hors d'orderves than who was doing what with who. My friend was very impressed. I even think PJ gets angrier at homophobes than my gay friends do!
Being a gay man myself ... I find homophobic men are indeed gay themselves ... I just find that gay and straight stereotypes are completely overrated and misunderstood.
... as for my readers of my 4 blogs that I currently publish ... my most recent one it http://thinkmaptrails.blogger.com ... I'm having serious love issues with one of my good friends, Matt - whom I love dearly as a friend,m but I'm committed to my partner, James for 2 years now ... I would like more women to comment on my blog ...
.. gay men rock this nation ... and we're always there for our female counterparts!!
- Henry.
damn straight! loved this post... they just WISH they had the gay best friend like we do! :)
Outstanding post! Right on the mark.
well said.
This is a GREAT post! Your comment about straight men being last year's purse at TJ Maxx is hysterical and one of the best lines I've read all week.
I love you. Your posts that aren't even directly about me make me absolutely giddy. (is that a too gay trait?)
Your Best,
andy
Sing it, sista! Thank you for your rant (I thought you did this very eloquently, BTW)!
Weird as it may be, I was even MORE sold on C.L. when I found out that his best friend is gay. To me, it represented that aside from him not being a biggot, it also proved he is comfortable in his own skin, and doesn't see labels, only people.
And there just aren't enough people like that in our world. :o(
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