Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Fee Fi Fo Fum

Fun Fact: People who are tall, KNOW they are tall. And don't need to have it pointed out all the time.

First of all, I have been 5'9 since high school so I'm perfectly aware of my height. I love being tall, as evident by the three inch heels I wear on a regular basis and my propensity for offering to grab things off the top shelf. What I am not psyched about is people, especially people I have worked with/known casually for years mentioning it to me constantly. These "pleasantries" include such statements as:

"God, You're tall!"
"Wow you really have some height on you, don't you!"
"Woah! Are you tall!"

I know people mean this as a compliment (I think?) but really it comes out as more of an accusation. How dare you not be 5'4? And as a general aside to men of average height, just because you tell people you are 5'10, and I am taller than you in my bare feet doesn't mean that I am 6 feet tall. It means you are actually 5'7. Sorry to break the news.

I have even had women say to me "If I were that tall (like I am living at the top of a damn beanstalk), I could NEVER wear high heels like that". Well lady, if I had calves like yours I would never wear a skirt like that. There. Now we're both assholes.

And then there are the old ladies who love to stop and tell me they wish they had my height. This doesn't bother me so much, since I suppose it's because Bea Arthur, who is also 5'9, looks so fabulous

In any case if I were to adopt this policy of stating to people who they already know, I would be going up to folicularly challenged men saying "Sweet Jesus you are bald!" and to short women "My god you are so short!".

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go into the break room in my new kelly green sweater vest and wait for someone to ask me about my canned goods.


Me said...

THAT made me for some broccoli?

I can imagine how annoying those comments must be...people really don't think. But I think some people are genetically more prone to make stupid comments like that... I never do. Never have the urge to, I don't even notice these things too much.

DAMN, you are TALL GIRL! Take off those heels! :)

Meg said...

I'm glad someone finally said it. My other favorite is, "How tall are you?" as though I'm some kind of freak of a height never before seen outside of science fiction comics.

It's 5'11", lady, and no I won't reach that off the top shelf for you.

Lys said...

That was hilar!

I about die laughing when a guy says he's 5'10 and I'm towering over him when wearing heels. My guess is he's 5'7/5'8 at best.

LooLoo said...

oh shit I think I was guilty of that when I met you. And I should of been more sensitive given all the short comments.

the nerve of me and my 26" inseam

Sarah said...

no way krista! it's not really as annoying when its someone you meet for the first time..i was more talking about people who see me on a daily basis (like coworkers) but still at least once a week feel the need to say something like "dag girl! you're so TALL".

Perfectly Plump Preppy said...

I'm 5'11 so I totally feel your pain! Oh and if one more person asks me if I played basketball in high school or if I want to play in an adult basketball league just bc I'm tall I may scream. I may scream so loudly that you can hear me all in the way in Boston!

Anonymous said...

YES!! Thank you for this glorious post.

And I love when those guys claiming to be 5'10" are like "No, I can't be wrong about my height, you must be wrong about YOURS!!" Ah, denial....

And the basketball thing (comment above)?? TOTALLY. People seem surprised that being tall does not automatically endow a person with grace and/or athletic skill.

Caitlin said...

Oh my god, Sarah! I haven't been reading your blog lately because life's been a bit more hectic than usual -- and this one was a welcome return that made me CRACK the eff UP. I am 5'8'' and I love heels and I get it all the time too!
I cannot even TELL you how right you are about the short men thing. And it's no coincidence that most of the comments about me being tall come from those same said men.

Secretly, it makes me glad. Because it's like they are letting me in on their secret shame -- like they are really saying "You! Giant woman! Taller than me?! Not okay! Not adequate, must puff out chest more, prove manhood." [the lack of pronouns also helps increase their masculinity, FYI]

Caitlin said...

Oh, and I once dated a guy that claims to be 5'10''. I told him that if he was 5'10'', then I was 5'11''.
This resulted in a heated debate, the use of a measuring tape, several pencil markings on his wall, and finally (triumphantly)ended in me smugly settling onto the couch in the knowledge that I am in fact 5'8''...and so is he.

E said...

SERIOUSLY. I love being tall and all and I too work it in heels all week, but sometimes the comments are rather excessive. Borderline accusatory, I think - kind of like I must have done something wrong in life to be so TALL!

My daughter is tall, too. She's already the tallest kid in her class. I sort of secretly love that.

Anonymous said...

I hear you loud and clear. I am always getting those comments about being 5'4''. "Girl, could you BE any more average?"

I'll shut up now. ;-)

Cindy said...

What about, gosh you're a tall drink of water! Got to love the old men!

Kate said...

5'10" since sophomore year of high school, and a fellow high-heel lover. My usual response to short women is to pat them on the top of their heads and say "Awww, thank you!" Gets the point across beautifully. As for the boys...someday my 6'2"+ prince will come...

My usual response to short women dating men over six feet tall is to glare involuntarily. Still working on that.

Princess Extrordinaire said...

I would be happy to have your height and yes, the comments must get old - by the way I think that remark about the calves is hysterical

RED said...

SARAH! What a great post. I'm 5'11 plus a heel wearer so I completely feel you. Although I must admit that when most people ask 'how tall are you!' they usually follow up with 'I'd love to be that tall' so I try to take it as a compliment.
I do, however, tower over my boss, and I don't think he's such a fan of my height.

Where Productivity Goes to Die said...

We were once at the Taste of Chicago (big, public event) with a coworker who is about 6'7". People kept coming up to him and asking how tall he was. We suggested he respond (particularly to women) "How much do you weigh?". That should shut them up.

san said...

actually, 5'9" is not THAT tall... or is it? I know a lot of girls in Germany who are 5'9"... I would only actually notice a girl as particularly tall if she's close to 6 feet.

Sarah said...

THANK YOU! that's what i keep telling people. 5'9" is on the short end of tall if you ask me!

Of course with the heels I wear every day I essentially am 6ft but that is neither here nor there :-P

M said...

I feel you at the other end of the spectrum. I get a lot of:
"You're so tiny!"
"Can I pick you up?" (NO)
"How are you so small?" (My parents are leprechauns)

Really, enough already.

Rissa said...

Speak on it, Sistah! I'm 6'2" and I wear heels every chance I get. :) The questions and comments and looks will never end. My favorites: are your parents tall? You don't need to wear heels. And *anything* referencing basketball.

In online-dating land, I've found that on a guy's profile 6'0" is code for 5'9".

Hooray for tall girls in heels!
~ Rissa

Sarah said...

go girl!!

i love "are your parents tall?". i mean wtf, its like if you see someone with blonde hair and ask "are your parents blonde?". puh-lease.

megagirl said...

I am so with you on this - I am only 5'1" and it is SO annoying when people are like, "Wow, you're so short," "how short ARE you?" etc. I like being short! And I also run into a lot of guys living in height denial. You are not 5'6" if you're literally one inch from being on my eye level. You're not even 5'4". You are 5'2". At best, you are 5'3".

I, too, am so tired of all stupid comments like this...not just about the height, but all stupid comments. I feel like many people missed sort of basic interpersonal skills from their parents. Apparently not all the moms and dads had the sense to say, "That's rude, we don't say that to people."

Nicky said...

Haha! I LOVE this post. I feel your pain. I constantly get those exact same comments. I'm 1/4 inch shy of being the exact same height as you. And when I put heels on, forget it, the comments don't stop. I usually uncomfortably say, "Well, I have heels on..." as if apologizing for my height and making an excuse like it's merely a product of my fashion choices instead of a random selection of genetics. I think I'll stop doing that.
I haven't had a ton of basketball-related comments because if you've seen me bump into the corner of my desk repeatedly and crash into doorframes, you quickly understand that grace is not my strongest asset. But, purely due to height, my extended family does insist that I could be a model. As if height is the only requirement for that. Yeah, the fashion industry loves a girl with an afro and a pot belly. LOL. Oh, and when I was at a funeral this weekend, the other question I got was wondering if I was a ballerina. HAHA! WTF? Um...please see the above comments noting my lack of grace.

Sarah said...

haha luckily my extended family never questions my height because my dad is 6'4 and a lot of my aunts/uncles/cousins are tall...especially my bro who is 6'7!!

Jenny said...

I'm only 5'1 and CONSTANTLY have friends (and strangers) commenting how how gosh-darn short I am. Gee really? I had NO idea.