Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Friday night was an interesting night, not only because of these shenanigans, but because I discovered that no matter how many cocktails I drink, if I drink an equal amount of water it evens out. For instance, at Noir I probably had about 4 martinis and 3 glasses of wine over the course of the 3 hours we were there (I had just eaten a good sized meal at Om, and the martinis are not that strong it should be noted). I also drank about one gallon of water. So when we left, I felt pretty good. Dare I say, SOBER. Even though when I calculated what I drank I knew I should have at least felt tipsy. I chalked it up to being awesome and went on my way home.

The awesome feeling, however, was short lived.

The next afternoon, Adam and I headed up to to Salem area to meet his parents for lunch at a local BBQ joint. I ordered ONE margarita. Count it out: ONE. UNO. UNE. And I drank it slowly over the course of an appetizer and most of my meal.

And I was drunk.

Just like that. About 3/4 of the way through the cocktail it hit me like a ton of alcoholic bricks. Being drunk at lunch when no one else is, is not in my mind an appropriate way to act in front of my boyfriend's parents. They are nice people and they think that I am a a nice girl (kind of). I would like that misconception to remain for the forseeable future.

SO we are all swapping stories about traveling in the Carribean, and the worst side effect of unprepared drunkeness occured: The Innapropriate Story.

While they were discussing maybe traveling to Jamaica: I told them "You know what you HAVE to do when you go to Jamaica, right?". And they looked at me innocently as I made the "smoking a joint" motion with my fingers.

That's right, I told my boyfriend's parents they should smoke some weed.

They stared blankly at me. And of course once I start there is no stopping me so I then launched into an *awesome* story about when I was 17, my parents went to Jamaica for a few weeks and ended up both smoking pot and my brother and I were psyched because we always wanted my dad to smoke pot since he can be alittle uptight and could greatly benefit from the occasional drug induced haze, but we didnt think my mom would like it. So we were greatly surprised to find out that when how my parents bought and smoked some in Jamaica, it was actually my MOM who loved it and my dad who hated it. Funny story, right?

Not so much to Adam's parents though. They laughed a little forcefully and then gracefully changed the subject to something other than my parents alleged drug use.

what's funny is I dont even smoke weed ever, nor do I care to. So why I felt the need to tell them this is beyond me.

I blame that super toxic margarita.

Or maybe all the cocktails from Friday night finally catching up with me!

Maybe next time I can tell them about the time I tried E.


Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Next time you want to go to OM, email me! I've been wanting to go there so badly and totally would have joined you.

And don't feel bad about the pot story - when I met my boyfriend's coworkers for the first time, I had a stroong apple martini and told an inappropriate story. I don't think I am invited to his work functions anymore. :/

jon said...

one word: tequila.

I think water works with rum, vodka, beers, etc...but pesky tequila brings out the very best stories.

clipper829 said...

Totally sad I couldn't meet up with you guys. I think we should plan something and get it on the calendar SOON.

Sarah said...


Anonymous said...

haha... that cracks me up, sarah.

Amy said...

Oh my god...Thank you so much!! You don't even know how loud that just made me laugh out loud!! If you would like to feel a bit better, here's a drinking story for you...imagine bringing your boyfriend to meet your family for the first time. You are afraid THEY will embarrass you. Well 6 or seven lemon martinis into the night, my family, boyfriend and I are relaxing outside by their outdoor firepit. My aunt and I decide to have a "dance contest"...I trip over my cousins shoe, grab onto the rail as i fall and instead i grab onto the stereo system. The entire stereo AND two speakers fell on my face. My aunt is screming "I won the dance contest!!" as I run inside to get something to stop the blood gushing out of the gash across my nose and face! Um, yeah. Classy! He eventually found me sitting on the bathroom floor with my little cousin holding ice to my noce screaming "marcia, marcia marcia...oh my nose!!" Thank god my drunken family didn't scare him away!! Oh wait...or was that all MY fault!

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaa! CLASSIC.

You know, we all do it. You did it probably better than others, but we've all been there at one time or another.

Hee I don't feel so bad about constantly blabbing non-stop to C.L.'s MUTE parents. I mean, when someone isn't talking, you know I have to say something, right?

Sheesh. We should start a support group. ;o)