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Friday, August 25, 2006

Oh no! Not another story about moving!!

I know, I know. But think of it this way, I move on Saturday and then you won't have to hear any more stories about packing, surprise walk-throughs, my bitchy landlord and whatnot. Then you get to hear Shiny New Apartment Stories!!!

Try and control your excitement.

Anyway, last night after a fruitless trip to Target (I say fruitless not because we left empty handed, but because we went into buy a new showercurtain, bathroom rug and assorted bathroom accessories and left $120 poorer having bought NONE of those things, but a bunch of other crap that we really didn't even need. Such is Target), Adam and I got to reminscing about when we first moved in together, and how it doesn't really feel like it happened two years ago.

When Adam and I decided to move in together, there was no big discussion or anything on either of our parts. We had been together 10 months, he hated the apartment he was living in and I wanted out of my parents so when randomly one day we were hanging out, reading the paper, he was like "Do you want to just get an apartment together" I, barely looking up, said "Totally". And that was that. I wonder in retrospect if my friends were freaked out although at the time it didn't even occur to me that they would have an opinion about it. When I decide to do something, I just do it. Even my parents half thought I wouldn't really do it and so they left for France and a month later when they returned I had moved out. (Although they are used to me making life changes while they are in Europe...I in fact dropped out of UMASS Amherst and decided to go to Umass Boston while they were in Italy for a month. Welcome home Mom and Dad!)

I didn't really know anything about the apartment renting process, Adam, on the other hand, was a pro. So, I was basically said to him "Go look at places and if you find a place you think would be good, I'll go back and look at it with you". Pickins were slim at first since it was October and most decent places had gone in the Mass Renting Exodus that is September 1st. Still, within 2 weeks he had found one and when I looked at it I agreed it was cute, had the two main things we were looking for (heat and hot water included in rent, and off street parking for two cars) and was in our price range.

The thing is though, we didn't actually look at the apartment we ended up living in. We looked at the one above it. When we asked to see the actual one we would be living in, our landlord said that well, there was an issue with that. They were evicting the guy who lived there, and he was not going quietly. So it was just as well that we don't rile him up with a walk-through. But he assured us the units were identical (and that ended up being true).

As the rental process wore on, we found out more about our predecessor. I, for one, was curious as to what someone could do to get evicted a mere 3 weeks after they move in. It turns out he was a bit of a partier and not the elegant Saturday dinner-party type, but more the cocaine-fueled, hooker-filled 3AM Wednesday night party type.

"And that's not even the worst part" our landlord said. "He put $40 of slugs in the washing machine downstairs".

My mind reeled. Slugs? Are you kidding? Why does he even have that many slugs? And how does our landlord know what exactly $40 of slugs looks like? Could he point at the ants on the walkway outside and say "That's about $6 of ants right there".

I didn't say anything, but later to Adam I was like "I never want to use that washing machine if there have been slugs in it. That is disgusting".

Adam replied that he didn't know about disgusting, but it was definitely stupid to do that in one's own home.

"I don't understand WHY you would put them into the washing machine. What if there are still slug REMNANTS in the washing machine bowl? What if one ends up all over one of my dresses"?

"Are you retarded?" Adam asked me. And he then explained unto me that while the term "slugs" CAN refer to the slimy crawly variety. Our landlord was in fact referring to fake quarters (also called slugs).

I have to admit, that made a lot more sense. And was a lot less disgusting.

In any case our previous tenant finally took his leave right before we moved in (but not before evacuating his bladder all over the bathroom floor and somehow getting dead leaves all over the kitchen floor (seriously, we had to rake). We actually got into the apartment the day before we were supposed to move in and spent a good 2 hours cleaning. We then settled in with our sleeping bags, in our brand new empty apartment, and watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom on my laptop.

The next day we moved all of our crap from his old apartment and my parents' house and into our new place and here our crap has been ever since.

I am looking forward to getting the F out truth be told, as we have certainly outgrown a one bedroom apartment. But, as our "first place together". This place will always have a special place in our hearts.

As will the term "slugs".

7 comments:

Mr. & Mrs. Cappella said...

LOL!! Even though I've heard this story before, I still cannot control my laughter! My co-workers are looking at me with suspicious eye. We can't go on together.

I am clearly making no sense because I haven't finished my coffee yet. But you are F-ing hilarious.

Sarah said...

Jeanne, We're caught in a trap,
I can't walk out.

Mr. & Mrs. Cappella said...

"suspicious eye" = "suspicious eyeS" = not quite "suspicious minds".

See? Told you I made no sense.

Sarah said...

but i bet the person who had a suspicious mind in that song also had a suspicious eye.

i think i need coffee now.

Lys said...

Sarah - Good luck with the move - LOTS of pics... and change is good.

And I will NEVER look at a "fake quarter" the same way again... *LOL*

Alexis said...

OhmyGOODness. This slug nonsense is hilarious!

san said...

Well, that was "educational" LOL... I wasn't exactly sure what 'slugs' were [well, except for the slimy things, but I couldn't believe he would have put them in a washing machine]...so I've learned a new [slang] word. yay! Thanks God it were only fake quarters... haha
Now I am so excited to see photos of your new apartment :)

P.S. I've been to a concert at UMass Amherst in 2000. Matchbox20 was playing and I was on vacation in New England - so I went :)