Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Most couples have a kind of secret language. You know, words or phrases they can say to each other in public that, if overheard by others, might not seem meaningful but to the two people involved in the exchange the TRUE meaning is understood explicitely.

With Adam and I , we are fond of one particular phrase that we use to show exactly how we are feeling right at that moment, without being too blunt.

That phrase is "Homeowner's Insurance".

Let me explain....

When Adam and I first started dating, he was apartment hunting. He looked at a few places and finally settled on an apartment in a two family house, in a good location, nice landlord, appropriate rent, etc. He had made a verbal agreement with the landlord to rent the place, but before money exchanged hands the place was rented out from him and he never knew why since the landlord would never take his calls. Adam was understandably frustrated having lost out on other apartments because he had assumed this one was his for the taking.

At one point in a phone conversation he said to me "I just want to get him on the phone and say "Sir, I really hope you have homeowner's insurance. I mean it would be a shame if something happened to your place". Meanwhile I am shocked because Adam is such a "nice guy" and up until that point was so even-keeled. Guys like Adam do not threaten to cause property damage even if they lose out on a sweet place.

That's what I thought at least. But when I laughed, he reiterated "No, I'm not threatening him, I just sincerely hope he has homeowner's insurance!".

It was then, of course, that I realized this is the man for me.

And of course now whenever we are mad at someone we use this phrase. Like, let's say that one of Adam's professor gives him an unfair grade on a paper, well let's just say we really hope they have homeowner's insurance.

And if someone cuts me off on the highway and slows down to 30mph once they are in front of me? Well, I would tell Adam that I sincerely hope they have homeowner's insurance too.

(Can't you just picture me screaming out the window of my car "Ma'am I REALLY hope you have homeowner's insurance!" in lieu of giviing the finger? )

In fact, just to be safe, you all better have it. You never know what might happen. And that way when someone tells you that they hope you do have it, you can say "Well, I do".

Better safe than sorry, especially if you are a landlord who crosses us. Or a professor. Or some random person on the highway.


Lindsay said...

OH my gosh, Sarah, freakin' hilarious. A good way to start off my day with a laugh like that... :)

And my word verification word is: (drumroll please): toqos! which is a plural south american take on the word taco, I'm going to guess! (Hey, if it's not a word, I might as well make it one!)

e$ said...

I do love that. And I do NOT have homeowner's insurance!!

Sarah said...

ha! i don't either. mostly because i do not own a home. but i suppose you could subsitute renters insurance in there if you wanted to. not that i have that either. d'oh!

Anonymous said...

can i just tell you that this is the funniest post i have read in a long time. thank you for making my morning.

Sarah said...

thanks! glad our idiocy cracks you up :-)

M said...

HEART - I just laughed out loud.

Marcia said...

Can I borrow this? I think I'm going to anyway. It's frickin' awesome.