Thursday, April 13, 2006

I now realize why I was born tall.

Whatever divine beings instilled me with life, they must have looked far into the future..26 years or so, and thought to themselves "This bitch will not have the physical capacity to wear high heels...we better make her tall so she doesn't have to".

It's true. I mean, I can handle MAYBE 2.5 inch heel at the most. And even then I better not have to walk a whole lot. Maybe just the distance from my chair to the bar a few times and that's it.

I can't help but be drawn to the 3.4/4 inchers though. I mean, let's be honest: The hottest shoes usually have the highest heel. I am drawn to glittering sky high stilettos and as soon as I put them on, and I take note my new supermodel amazonian height (I am 5'9 so when you put me in the big gal's shoes I am AT LEAST 6 feet tall), I fall in love.

Then I ususally fall down.

I have a pretty confident gait, and that is rendered stunted and shuffling which i HATE. Good posture is important to me, but I am so concerned with falling over that I find myself hunching over, or else walking with my hands slightly splayed out a la a tightrope walker.

Not Cute.

This all came to a head yesterday. In a new attempt to conquer the enourmous heel, I wore a pair of FOUR INCH (fabulous) brown slingbacks to work yesterday. I figured that I sit for most of the day, it would be a nice trial run for wearing them on a night out.

And for most of the day it was. I made copies, visited people in other cubicles, got the mail, moved boxes, and was 6'1 tall all day long with nary a stumble or slouch to speak of.

But then on the way home, I had to go food shopping for a dinner party I am hosting tonight

Seemed like a good idea, since I was passing the supermarket anyway and had some dishes I wanted to get started last night so I am not rushing around like a mad person today.

I am telling you, I made it as farbeing 2nd in line at the deli counter (which you KNOW ain't far if you start in the produce aisles) and had to limp, whimpering back to my car. My toes were in agony, my left ankle strap kept falling off, my ankles were wobbly. It was just not going to happen for me.

Not to be deterred from my much needed shopping excursion, I rooted around in my Mary Poppins Bag of a trunk, and found these babies.

Which I promptly donned, though it was not raining nor was their a cloud in the sky, and continued on my merry food shopping way. Maybe not the most stylishly shod gal there, but certainly one of the more comfortable!
I wish I could say I have given up, but I am determined.
Maybe 4 inch heeled SANDALS are more comfy?



Marilyndrew said...

I love those shoes!

They do look like they might feel miserable though ....

kim said...

i hear you. i really do. heels? i just can't do it. and honestly i rather look a little less hot instead of stupid because i can't walk in my shoes. or dance for that matter. luckily i'm 5'7 myself so it does work for me as well :)


PS: absolutely LOVE the rainboots!

e$ said...

oh those heels.



Sarah said...

i know. michael kors seems like a douche on antm but i looove his shoes/bags.

The Pink Kitty said...

Super cute shoes!

I have the most fabulous pair of 4 inch heels. Super cute, BCBG stilettos. I love them. But alas, they live in my closet because I fall down too! :(

Anonymous said...

I NEVER wear heels. I'm 5'9", with weak ankles. I can only dream of 4 inch heels.

P.S. I'm the anon from yesterday, about Carrie belting nothing.

Sarah said...

Jennifer/anon: i like your style!

Nicky said...

I'm 5'8" and also am magnetically drawn to tall shoes. Alas, I walk like a drunk geisha girl when I'm wearing them. I tip-toe in heels. Then, there are my "sit down" shoes. The shoes that are mere adornments for my feet. Not meant for any kind of human activity at all. EVER. They are so painful, I believe they may have been used by our govenrnment as torture devices in Abu Gharib. I've been thinking about throwing them out. But...sigh...they're so pretty.

Anonymous said...

i have the answer to your shoe dilemma: Body Glide. it is an ointment that athletes rub on areas that may be prone to chafing. it comes in a deodorant-like package and you can get it at any sporting goods store. rub it on your feet and slip on any shoes that have rubbed your feet raw in the past. it will feel like you are wearing slippers. i found out about this in Real Simple magazine.