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Thursday, January 19, 2006

Today we discuss condoms.

I was in CVS yesterday evening, picking up some chapstick because I don't know if you know this but there are chapstick/lip gloss elves around these parts who steal my chapstick/lip gloss within the first 24 hours of my buying it. I can see no other reason why these things dissapear so quickly. I am constantly buying lip stuff. It's out of hand.

So iI wander over to the prescription counter because I figure while I am here I will refill my birth control for the month. I speak to the pharmacist and she tells me it will be about 10 minutes. Fine. Might as well peruse the medicine aisles for what's new and exciting in the world of antacids.

And then I saw them. Two teenage girls sort of lingering in the aisle. They were whispering and giggling and looking wholly embarrassed and nervous at the same time. For a moment I thought they were stealing....but then I saw what product they were giggling over.

Condoms.

Do you remember the first time you had to buy these? I was 17 years old and my friend Jenn and I had reached a point in our lives where this kind of shopping excursion had to be undertaken. She picked me up at my house after dinner one night, and we to the CVS down the street to my house. Once we pulled into the parking lot, all my calm cool collectedness surrounding this excursion dissolved. "I can't do this! Someone will SEE ME! I KNOW people who go here! My MOTHER shops here". So we left that CVS and headed to one on the other side of town. This time we actually made it into the store before we noticed it was only teenage boys working the counter so Oh Hell No.

We then realized that there was no way we could purchase condoms in the town we lived in. It was too mortifying. So we went to where all South Shore people go when they have to do something seedy/shameful.

Brockton.

There, in some shady Store 24 with an old lady who did not speak English working the counter, we bought condoms for the first time. Actually we ran in, picked them up without even looking at them, paid and RAN out to the car where we collapsed in relief that the deal was done.

So when I saw those girls, in the aisle at CVS. I didn't think they were silly, instead I felt kind of bad for them. Because if they were this nervous about buying condoms then I would assume it has to be their first time. And I think we can all agree that what they are in for is far more painful and embarrasing than buying condoms at a local pharmacy.

Ah, to be young again.

15 comments:

rooroo said...

it could be their 40th time too cause i still don't like doing it. my first time i drove to randolph, but i played it cool 'cause they weren't for me, i was there supporting a friend... but we totally did that thing where we had to buy, like, 'cover' products... as in, "oh, we're just here to buy a magazine and some candy, and... hey, while we're here we might as well grab some condoms." totally cas.

Sarah said...

i do that same "cas" thing with condoms NOW. and same with tampons, i can never go in and just buy tampons. clearly i have an issue.

Jenny said...

BROCKTON. LOL.

Sarah said...

aren't i right though? when shady shenanigans are afoot, it's either Brockton or Brockton-by-the-sea.

Mr. & Mrs. Cappella said...

I once had to buy pads for my wife, I was lucky because I went to a 24 hour stop & Shop and no one was really around, but for some reason I din't go through those do-it-yourself lanes. I went to the one cashier that was working. I think it's because I appreciate the comedic value of a dude buying femanine hygene products.

-chris

J-Mo said...

wow flashbacks.

Trying to act so cool cause i was 16 and i was buying condoms. It felt so weird standing at the counter with a box that screams "look at me i'm having sex"

kim said...

here's another proof of how weird & wacko i really am. i always thought it was kinda cool to buy condoms. even when i was 16... cool in a "see, i do IT, too"-kind of way. and it's not like i actually did IT at 16. i just thought it'd be cool enough for wanting people to think i did IT. that's the germans for ya :)

PS: totally second the last paragraph!

Sarah said...

lol that's awesome! europeans have always been cooler about sex than americans though, right? i remember when i was in paris when i was 18 i went to a dinner party and the news was on the TV in the background...and after the news was over a porn came on! just like that! and no one even cared!

kim said...

jeah, we europeans like porn like that. :)

Sarah said...

hence, i am moving to europe :-P

Anonymous said...

so much truth in this. the embarrassment, the cover up buys and of course brockton. <3 danielle

KO said...

Dude, the Walgreen's near my old office on the East Side (thank GOD we moved to Tribeca) kept BOTH tampons and condoms locked up in separate glass cases, so if you wanted either, you had to find an employee, have them unlock the case, watch you while you picked out your shit - so no leisurely debate about spermicide vs. ribbed for her pleasure - and then stand in a long line in a crowded store to pay. I was so over the embarassment of buying these items until the day I walked in there to buy BOTH. Needless to say, I never returned.

Sarah said...

haha!i can't beleive they lock up TAMPONS! at least condoms might mean some kind of shenanigans are going on but tampons? yeesh!!

Phuzz said...

OK, I was a klepto back then so my first several "purchases" were actually by 5 finger discount. ;)

ugagirl16 said...

I remember having a similar experience everytime I bought cigarettes (I smoked for like 4 months when I was 18) anywhere within 20 miles of my house. I was totally freaked that someone that knew my mom or my actual mom would see me......It was exhausting emotionally every single time