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Thursday, January 05, 2006



I have this weird thing with repeptive noises and that thing is i can't STAND it. Hearing the same sound, at the same pace, over and over and over tends to drive me batty.

For instance, Adam was in a men's baseball leauge and when the season first started, he would sit on the couch in the living room and throw baseball into his mitt over and over and over again to "break it in". And I remember being in the kitchen and hearing "thwap...thwap...thwap...thwap" and being like "Hey can you go outside and do that?" and he being like "I'm almost done, this will just take 5 minutes" and then "thwap..thwap..thwap..thwap" and after a minute I came tearing out the kitchen like "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO OUTSIDE BEFORE I TAKE THAT BALL AND BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH IT".

So yeah, foot tapping, finger drumming? Don't do that shit around me unless you want a pen in your eardrum.

Anyway, it turns out that my hatred of repetive noises extends to a newly discovered hatred of people who repeat the same thing over and over and over again. Especially if this phrase or topic that is constantly repeated is a complaint. Especially if that complaint is about something as banal as coffee filters.

Allow me to continue.

A certain gentleman in my office is obssesed with correct coffee maker usage. And as someone who sits within earshot of said coffeemaker, I must hear things like "I saw you put in 6 scoops, it acually takes FIVE scoops!" and "The seam of the filter must line up with THAT line in the holder" and so on. And it's not like he says once in a while..it's EVERY BLINKING DAY !

I just want to tell him "You know what, sometimes people want their coffee a little stronger than your 5 scoop allowance. And sometimes maybe I want to blow off some steam and go nuts with the coffee filter seams. These are my prerogatives!"

And just now, I was scrambling to finish a project due at 2:30 and I hear "I keep telling you, FIVE SCOOPS!" from the break room and I swear never in my life have i wished more that I had a superpower, like the ability to shoot Gozer-esque lasers out of my hands because you better believe I would have pointed right at him and said "I LIKE IT STROOOONG" as my lasers fired away.

Also: I have PMS

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

i know exactly what you mean. this morning i was on the train and this girl in front of me was on the phone just saying "yup. yup. yup. yup. yup." over and over. i realized i was staring at her so strongly that lasers almost came out of my eyeballs and shocked her. i wish they had!

Anonymous said...

that was me by the way ! danielle

Sarah said...

of course you know exactly what i mean. hello mind twin monkey!

AliRose said...

Haha, you're hilarious. Sounds like you've got a coffee nazi on your hands, we've got one of those here too.

Anonymous said...

MIND TWIN MONKEY

Jaime said...

constant noise drives my crazy - like the hum of the bathroom fan - makes me want to scream.

Nicky said...

OMG - I have the SAME EXACT pet peeve!!! Thank Jeebus I am allowed a walkman in work because there would surely be an incident of workplace violence. We not only have a tone deaf out-of-tune office whistler, but we have an over-exaggerated sneezer, and a chronic violent cougher. I mean, something is wrong with this woman. She has been coughing violently (like, screaming coughs from the depths of her organs) for nearly a year now. SEE A PHYSICIAN!!!

Jennifer said...

That's why I CANNOT watch Emeril Live. He repeats everything!