The Pink Shoe Diaries

So, I have this problem with spontaneous lying.


I don't mean like i am a compulsive liar or anything. Usually I am too honest, I say things I shouldn't because in some ways I lack the internal mechanism that tells you "Maybe now is not the time to bring up the fact that her new hair-do really does look like a mullet".


But I believe this is somehow related to my spontaneous lies. I'm not trying to fool anyone, it's just that every so often when I WANT to do something, I say I already HAVE done it. Especially when I am talking to people I don't know that well. And each time as SOON as I say it I am like "Why the F did I say that!?". You know like in A Christmas Story*, when Ralphie says he wants Tinker Toys instead of the Red Ryder BB Gun and as soon as the words are out of his mouth he is all "ooooooooh".

Anyway, I am a bit of a Ralphie.

So, the other day one of my coworkers Sandy comes up to me and asked me if I had heard of White Christmas, the Irving Berlin Christmas show going on in Boston. Now, Adam and I had been talking about getting tickets but we hadn't done it yet since we couldn't decide on a date. So instead of saying "Yes, I had heard of it, and I was hoping to get tickets" like a normal person, I said "Yes! Adam and I got tickets and are going next week!"

"oooooooooh" I though, as soon as I said it. But how can I take it back? "Oh I'm sorry, I lied, I meant I WANT to get tickets".

But, too late.

"That's too bad!" Sandy said, "Because I won tickets to the show next Friday and I can't go so I wanted to see if you and Adam wanted them!".

Curses!!! My spontaneous lies have foiled me again. My friends later told me that I should have said I would take them and that I "had friends who wanted to go", but alas I am not that quick and at the time was too mired in the fact that I am an idiot.

*If you have never seen A Christmas Story, you need to get on that. It is the best Christmas movie around. And every year it's on for 24 hours starting at noon on Christmas Eve on TBS.