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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Recently, I went to the drug store down the street on my lunch break to grab some advil since this generic faux-aspirin my company stocks in the break room just doesn't even make a dent in wine-hangover headaches. So I parked my car and ran in and was back out in 2 minutes.

Somehow in that two minutes, some asshat in a delivery truck had managed to park his rusty green trash-mobile so close to the driver's side of my car that I could not even get to the door to open it. If I had to guess there was about 6 inches between my car and the truck.

AND it wasn't even like I had parked haphazardly and was half hanging into another space. I was WELL within the white lines as I always am because I drive a little car.

I went around to the other side of the truck to see if it had enough space on the other side to have parked normally if the driver had NOT been asshat and there was TONS of room.

So I waited for a few seconds. I was all "I wish that driver WOULD come out now so I can give him a piece of my mind"*. But, in sub 30 degree weather I can only hang onto a grudge for so long before even the pissiest of pissed off feelings inside me freeze and I must seek heat. So I climbed in my passenger side door (which incidentally I think is the most non graceful thing anyone can ever do..there is NO way to look like a decent person while doing this, especially when you have a skirt on) and started my car.

As luck would have it, He Who Has an Ass as a Hat came out of the drug store just then, and proceeded to climb into his truck.

I could not roll my window down fast enough "Hey asshole! Next time watch were you park your fucking car"!

(I have mentioned that I'm a class act, right?)

Having said my piece, I put my car in drive and began to speed off...but not before this man, in garbled, accented English, leaned over to his passenger window and yelled "GET BENT!"

At least, that is SO what it sounded like.

And you know when someone yells something at you, especially if they are not too good with the English, it has a little delay, a few moments between their cussing you out and your understanding what they said?

Well, 1 minute later I was laughing, I mean HOWLING in my car. "Get Bent"? That is so precious. The whole encounter was totally worth it just to hear that phrase uttered in my direction.

I think I will go get bent, thank you very much.




*I subscribe to the Cedric the Entertainer Philosphy of Life. He says that there are two types of people: The people who, on their way to the theater say "Oh I hope no one is sitting in our seats..I don't want their to be a scene" and the people like him who say "I wish a #$*&@ WOULD be sitting in my seat!" . The second type of person LOVES a scene. I am the second type of person.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

i so don't ever make a scene, but always wish i would. way to go for standing up for yourself, girlie!!