I never get as pissed at an inanimate object as i do at a thermometer.
It's like this: I have felt like crap for two days. And not just hungover crap from Saturday night but like achey, sore throat-y, headache-y, general malaise i-feel-like-crap, crap. The kind where you sit at your desk at work and massage your temples not because you want your boss to think you feel sick and let you go home early, but because it really soothes the pounding in your brain. The kind where you can't even stomach the thought of eating the strawberry and whipped cream angel food cake in your fridge even though it looks SOOOOOO good.
The kind where even Sex and the City re-runs don't make you feel any better.
I'm sick for real!
So when I get home, I settle down on the couch with my thermometer under my tongue and wait for the beep. ANd the beep takes a WHILE to come which can only mean those numbers are climbing and I really am on death's door, like I feel.
It's like this: I have felt like crap for two days. And not just hungover crap from Saturday night but like achey, sore throat-y, headache-y, general malaise i-feel-like-crap, crap. The kind where you sit at your desk at work and massage your temples not because you want your boss to think you feel sick and let you go home early, but because it really soothes the pounding in your brain. The kind where you can't even stomach the thought of eating the strawberry and whipped cream angel food cake in your fridge even though it looks SOOOOOO good.
The kind where even Sex and the City re-runs don't make you feel any better.
I'm sick for real!
So when I get home, I settle down on the couch with my thermometer under my tongue and wait for the beep. ANd the beep takes a WHILE to come which can only mean those numbers are climbing and I really am on death's door, like I feel.
Only according to my GD thermometer, I am right as rain.
98.5.
Healthy as A Horse.
Who the hell is ever 98.5? That's has to be some kind of default number for when the thermometer is on the fritz, right? Because how can I feel so crappy and have not even the hint of a fever. Can a sista get a 99.1? I would take even that. SOMETHING to justify how gross I feel.
So, i reset and check again. 98.5 again. And once more time for good measure....and this time all my effort must have somehow brought me down a bit because now I am a cool 98.1
So now I feel like I must not really be sick and if so then why should I have to feel so crappy. If I had a temperature, I would feel like at least there is an explanation..and that vindication would make me feel infinitely better. But no, apparently it is all in my head.
And anyway who is this thermometer to tell me I am not really sick? It better don't.
98.5.
Healthy as A Horse.
Who the hell is ever 98.5? That's has to be some kind of default number for when the thermometer is on the fritz, right? Because how can I feel so crappy and have not even the hint of a fever. Can a sista get a 99.1? I would take even that. SOMETHING to justify how gross I feel.
So, i reset and check again. 98.5 again. And once more time for good measure....and this time all my effort must have somehow brought me down a bit because now I am a cool 98.1
So now I feel like I must not really be sick and if so then why should I have to feel so crappy. If I had a temperature, I would feel like at least there is an explanation..and that vindication would make me feel infinitely better. But no, apparently it is all in my head.
And anyway who is this thermometer to tell me I am not really sick? It better don't.
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6 comments:
NEVER, i REPEAT *NEVER* believe a thermometer ~ afterall, was a thermometer there when you ruined your favorite pair of shoes and didn't think you'd be able to step out of bed and face the next day?? or you broke up with mr wrong, FINALLY, yet you KNEW your heart was ripped in TWO??? no, it's just a number... can't tell how all black and blue you are on the inside :o) feel better ~ l*ve your blog!
I never trust a thermometer.......when they made them digital, they made them evil.... -- Alicia :)
I was understanding that you were sick - but when you said Sex and the City re-runs wouldn't cheer you up...
Oh, no. She is so sick!
No matter your temp if you feel bad then you are sick in my book.
Think about it this way: maybe your normal temperature is 96 degrees so now you're running a slight fever! I'm always cooler than normal so 98.5 means my body is fighting something.
Anna you are WISE!
I have the same symptoms. All medical tests will show fine, but i still feel like ass.
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