The Pink Shoe Diaries

do you ever suddenly realize that karma is on your side?


on friday night i went to the Red Sox game with adam and a large group of my girlfriends+their significant others. we had about 3 rows of bleachers for our group. of course, people were moving around, not sitting in their exact assigned seats but that is all good. about 1/2 way through the game i noticed some Sketchy Girls sit a few seats away from Adam. they were Sketchy for two reasons:

1) they showed Adam their tickets and asked if they were in the right row and they DEFINITELY were not (they should have been about 10 rows back and 1 section over)

2) they both had on enough collective makeup to make even Tammy Faye cringe.

the FURTHER proved their sketchiness by flirting with the annoying drunk boys sitting behind us thus rendering the drunk boys even MORE annoying. stop tallking about how you are half Iranian. you are whiter than the bases on the field.

and THEN i got up to go to the ladies room and get some more beer and i those Sketchy Girls would NOT stand up and let me go by so i had to crawl over them basically to get out of my aisle. i thought this was pretty rude, and after taking a poll of the women in line to use the bathroom i got unanimous confirmation that this kind of behavior is SUPER rude and unacceptable. so when i returned to my aisle armed with a beer in each hand i was not going to put up with this anymore. when i came to the SGs i asked "could you guys please stand up" and one of them ACTUALLY looked up at me and said

"shut the fuck up"

(i know what you are thinking, oh no she DIDN'T).

maybe it was the 4 margaritas i had before the game, or the 3 beers i had had during the game, but in any case my reflexes were dull so i merely muttered "you shut the fuck up, trash!" as i roughly climbed over them, taking care to spill some beer on both of their acid washed tapered jeans. when i got back to Adam i told him what happened and he looked over at them, and back at me and said "don't worry baby, you are ten times hotter than that girl"

thanks, like that is the point!!

so i debated: should i get these girls thrown out? because they are not in the seats they should be in and they are acting like b*tches, if you ask me. oh, and did i mention one of them was smoking a cigarette which is a big No No at Fenway Park (espsecially when you are not on the aisle seat). so i kept debating whether i should take the time to narc them out but then, suddenly, my savior appeared.

and i don't mean Jesus.

i mean the short, dark haired man who started to initiate a fist fight with Girl Who Was Smoking because she ashed on him and i think called him some kind of expletive. i want to say "f*cking asshole". he lunged at her, and her friend grabbed her by the collar out of his reach and they BOTH ran out of the stands like trashy bats out of hell.

I approached my savior and told him "thank you so much for almost punching that girl in the face. she made me spill my beer"

"well then it was all worth it" he replied, a halo of light shining on his face.

and that, my friends, is how i know that karma is on my side.