The Pink Shoe Diaries

first of all, i can't believe how long it has been since i've been on Ebay. it's a little ridiculous. i bought a Dior dior handbag last january (which i broke within 5 months becsause i cannot heed the warning "do not overstuff!", and still have not gotten it fixed). but yesterday i was tooling around and i had forgotten what fun things you an find on there! as we speak i am bidding on a fabulous pair of Dior shoes and a "Dior, not War" tee shirt

yay!

and now for the not so fabulous news. i told my mother last night that i was not going to be going to nursing school this year. it's a decision i made on my own, since i am not ready to be back in school full time and i can't find a decent part time program that would allow me to still work full time (which i would have to do, because i refuse to have my parents pay my rent for me and i won't be able to afford it on a part time salary). and to me, this is fine. i am working it out. i am a sista doing it for herself. when the time is right, i will be back in school (i have to!)

and who knows if i will even do nursing? i have been dabbling with the idea of getting something really useless like an MFA! just because i know it would be fun to take the classes neccessary to earn it. i plan on taking an art history class when my stats class is finished.

the point is, i am young and this is a time in my life when i have no real responsibilities: i am not married, i have no kids, i have a modest rent due every month and a few bills here and there but this is a time for me to figure out what i want to do, and maybe it will be nursing! or maybe it will be something else?

the point is, i'll figure it out.

and what i was trying to tell my mom is that i don't expect their help. my father has been retired for over a year now, and is intent on taking another class or two in France in the near future and my mother will soon be retiring herself so she can hang with my dad. they offer to help me out with grad school NOW, but i am not ready to go NOW and if that means that i have to pay for it myself later on then that's fine. and the fact of the matter is i don't want to go back to school right now, plain and simple. and i believe if your parents are going to dish out $30,000+ a year for you to get a graduate degree, you better be pretty damn sure you want to be there.

anyway so i had this conversation with my mom last night, which i was dreading, and of course she gave me that "it's fine" speech in the "you're ruining your life" tone. actually her exact words were (said in a withering manner) "all i can do is give you advice and if you choose not to follow it then you deal with the consequences". which i know for a fact is the same thing she says to her patients when they refuse to take their pills!

i'm glad i finally told her, although she would have figured it out when in May i wasn't getting ready to go back to school :-P but at least now i feel alot less pressure, and my parents know that i'm going to do what's best for me..and while i appreciate all their help and advice, it ultimately is my decision.

whew.