The Pink Shoe Diaries

i operate under the assumption that if my boss takes me out for dinner and drinks, and i get sufficiently drunk, the next morning i am required to be neither 1) on time or 2) functional.

sadly, this is not the case.

a few nights ago my boss took our whole office out to dinner and then for drinks. this sounds un peu grandiose, but you must understand that my office consists of only the following people:

JB - prez and my boss
J - the accounting manager and JB's wife.
E - the gay property manager
Z - the gay receptionist
and moi.

so we all go to the Armani cafe and sit at the bar. JB actually met us there, since he had left early to get a head start. so the drinking starts in earnest...we talk heaps of sh*t about back bay real estate: who is sleeping with whom, who is affiliated with the mob, who is committing insurance fraud (strangely, most of these things occur at my old office) and in the meantime JB is keeping the rounds of martinis coming and coming. He encourages me to invite adam to dine with us, which i do, and he proceeds to have a mild form of phone sex with him via text messaging on my mobile. i cant be sure..but when i come back to my phone after having a cig outside with J, i peruse the "sent messages" and see a garbled bunch of letters with the word "orjasmr" at the end. draw your own conclusion. anyway, after about 4 martinis i am no longer the polite, cheery model of efficiency that my new officemates know and love. No, i am now a crass, drunk, shit-talker but to my surprise they seem to like this just as much as the other. so, i did not feel bad about screaming "fuck my ass!" to the jerk who tried to kill me with his mercedes just because i crossed not on a crosswalk in front of JB and J. in fact, J intimated to me that she often utilizes that phrase whilst driving the company SUV that is emblazoned with our logo and contact info. the night ends at cigar masters, with cigars all around and i remember little about the end of the night. in fact... the next morning when i asked J and Z how the bar was after Adam and I left and they both stared at me and were like "we both left before you did" so there is some time missing in there somewhere.

so the next day i stumble in about 15 minutes later than usual, huge coffee in one hand, large sunglesses on and permanent wince on my face. everyone else, however, is shiny, bright-eyed and bustling...i mean they had showered and everything.

so yeah, my new co workers are awesome. i work with a married couple, 2 gay guys and 3 dogs. for me, this is about as good as it gets. the work itself is fun, but very challenging at times. i am the kind of person who needs to know exactly what i am doing because i loathe making mistakes. so i ask appx 1 million questions when i am doing something for the first time which, of course, makes me an absolute joy to train. luckily for JB, his way of training me is to send me offsite where there is no one to ask questions of. for instance, i had to sit on the roofdeck of a marlborough street penthouse on thursday, supervising a roofer who was caulking a leaking skylight. luckily, i am a whiz at acting like i know what i am doing/talking about. and getting to poke around a million dollar condo ain't a shabby way to spend a morning. similarly, on friday i had to meet the windowashers in a beacon street penthouse (complete with back deck overlooking the charles!) at 8AM to 1) let them in and 2) offer advice on where to tie the ropes they would use to rappel down the front of the building. obviously the advice of someone as experienced as me is invaluable. the best part of this experience, was that none of the front doors in this building have numbers, and there were no less than 4 of these white doors on the top floor of this building so i pretty much had to try my key in every door (inadvertantly terrifying the occupant of #8) and then once i found luckly number nine, i had to find a way to explain to a freaked out non-english speaking spanish maid what a well dressed young lady and man with tons of rope were doing in her boss's bedroom (the bedroom is the only room with front roof access). interesting.

at the very least, i am learning something new every day :-)