A Hot Mess. Literally.

The fact is and always will be: You really can’t take me anywhere.

I got up early today to get ready for an event at the Fairmont Copley I was attending with some coworkers. Suzy Welch was speaking at a networking breakfast for the Boston Chamber of Commerce and we were all really excited to attend. So, early I awoke and did my hair and face and picked out a professional but whimsical outfit and off I was to the city.

I am such a fail though.

For one thing, I always go the same way to work which is Quincy Shore Drive, to Morrisey Blvd, to the Expressway via Columbia Road, to The Pike, to Newton! So a reasonable person would think, well I will still go that exact way but instead of heading to the Pike I will head to South Station and make my way over to Copley.

But I first of all had it in my head that I COULD NOT BE LATE. I had visions of Suzy speaking, everyone listening in rapt attention, and me stumbling in 20 minutes late clutching my phone and bag, red faced from the run from the parking garage, probably tripping on my way in. Charming. So I decided getting on the highway in Milton made more sense. If you live around here you know that I am sincerely an idiot.

So there was traffic for days and I was running behind. Another thing you should know is even when I know where I am going, I like having the GPS on for backup. A comforting voice to re-affirm that yes, I do know where I am going. But Jane (as I call my cool British voiced GPS), was anything but comforting. She kept telling me to get off the highway and turn around. Turn around and go where! Boston is straight ahead! Jane what are you talking about! And she was getting increasingly pissed that I wouldn’t turn around. So pissed that when I refused to get off at exit 16, she stopped talking altogether.

What a beast!

But without her, I still made it to the Fairmont but then the question of parking arose. I thought there was a garage right next to it and there is, but from where I was I couldn’t get to it without going the wrong way down a one way. So I decided to go around the block and ended up almost accidentally getting on the Pike. Twice. At this point it is five minutes from the time I am supposed to be at the Fairmont sipping a coffee and listening to Suzy. So I bang down Boylston going what feels like 90 and eventually get myself to the Clarendon garage where I steam ahead to the third floor, throw my car in a spot and run over to the hotel. I arrive only 4 minutes late and people are still in the lobby getting nametags.

PHEW!

So I get my nametag and schmooze and other people are later than me and other people were clueless about parking (People who work in Newton forget that you cant just park anywhere you feel like it in the city) so I feel much better. We are seated and the event begins. Suzy is an incredible speaker, totally charming and really entertaining. People are listening intently and laughing and enjoying themselves. I am smiling and casually reach for the silver coffee pot to pour myself a cup…

…and burn the everloving F out of my hand. Of course! Because it’s me and if there is a hot surface within a 20 foot radius of me I will find a way to burn myself on it.

The searing pain makes me catch my breath but I get ahold of myself and smile it off. I put my bedeviled hand in my lap and focused on Suzy. But sweet jesus it HURT. Deep breaths. Calm cool collection. Ok I am fine.

Once the breakfast portion of the event was over it was time to make our way around and network. Which incurs hand shaking. Yowza! I did not cringe or wince outwardly because such a a thing is generally not done when making introductions, BUT with every squeeze of my hand It felt like burning my hand all over again. I powered through though! I met a lot of great people including Suzy herself who was such a delight and just a really inspirational woman.

Then again the fact that I powered through a networking breakfast with this bad boy makes me pretty inspirational too!



(Disclaimer: as with all burns (and I am speaking as an authority on the matter) the blister did not appear until a few hours later so it is not like I was shaking people's hand with this pus filled sac on my hand. Just clearing that up. Enjoy the image!)