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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

There Is A Reason I am A Founding Member Of The No Pants Gang**

Earlier this year I stumbled upon the most hallowed of sales - a pant sale where almost all of the pants were TALL or LONG. Can you imagine? It was at the Talbots Outlet and I can only imagine that tall people don't stop at the actual stores so they had a surplus of long pants to get rid of and dumped them on the Outlet. I could not have been more psyched. Thank you Talbots Outlet for being one of the only stores not to make those with 34" inseams or longer feel like second class citizens.

Wew!

In any case. I ended up purchasing a few pairs of pants and I love each of them and have frankly been wearing the crap out of them ever since. So some of them could definitely use some help from a tailor. One of my fave pairs, a wide legged grey pant, which I have discovered as of late but have I bothered to mend it? Not so much. I have always been more apt to reach for a safety pin then for a needle and thread, and why shouldn't I when I have so many office supplies at my disposal?

Basically, who needs a tailor when you have a binder clip?



I know, I am one missed WB Mason order away from running around pantless in this piece.

**The No Pants Gang was invented the summer of 1996 by myself and some other fellow Aides at the overnight summer camp we were working at. A bunch of us had taken a night off to go to Riverside Park (RIP) and decided to start a club called The No Pants Gang because the stress of dealing with campers all summer had rendered us crazed enough to think this was an awesome idea, and because really pants are quite the drag. The initiation? You must go one one ride at the park - pantless. For the entire ride. This sounds easy in theory but you would be surprised how many park employees would NOT let us board various rides clutching our pants in our hands. So on one particular ride, a roller coaster, we all boarded, then took our pants off after the bell sounded and the ride had begun. Hardcore, no? The ride ended with us chanting "Just Like Fear!" Just Like Fear!" with our pants in our hand as the coaster rolled back into the gate. Charming, I know. But we were quite proud. No Pants Gang 4 Lyfe.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

Don't feel bad. The crotch of my gray pants ripped a few weeks ago at school, and my underwear was quite bright and would be easily seen by my students, so I stapled the crotch closed. How ghetto am I?

The M Show said...

I go to the gym before work a couple of times a week. Last fall I finished up my workout and realized that I forgot to put my pants in my gym bag. I had to wear my sweaty shorts out to my car and it was 8am and all that was open was Whole Foods. I had to buy some Olive Hemp Cargo pants that were organic and $90. Greatest ripoff ever.

Sarah said...

John, consider yourself a charter member of the No Pants Gang.

Melissa, you too.

eileen said...

Awwww yeah 34 inch inseam! Unfortunately I don't have a pantsless story to share. But I can still dream, can't I?

Nicky said...

Oh man, you should've called me immediately upon finding the sacred oasis of Tall Pants! I'm apparently trying to start up "The Cold Ankle Gang" from the looks of my wardrobe. Stores ain't got no love for tall girls. Sigh...

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I am so bad with my own pants....I need to get them tailored some time soon before thet tear off me...

Martini said...

My wife staples the hem of her work pants instead of sewing them. Whatever works I guess. It's not like Stacy & Clinton are around every corner.