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Monday, May 12, 2008

How To Be an Idiot

You may not be aware of this but Being an Idiot is a highly developed skill. It requires doing things in a precise order that Non-Idiots would never think of. Acting like an Idiot may seem effortless but I assure you the time and expense that goes into it is quite shocking.

For instance:

If you talk to any of my real life friends they can tell you that I have been on the hunt for a cute yellow shoe for MONTHS. Possibly even a year. I have searched high and low but nothing was the right shade of yellow, or if it were it was the wrong shape. Or if it was the right shape it was way too expensive or really cheaply made. This has been a mission that has weighed heavily on my mind (or just from time to time when I think about it).

Anywho as these situations usually end, I was out shopping with my Mom over the weekend not even looking for shoes and BAM there they were on the shelf. The perfect shade of yellow. The perfect shape. The perfect yellow shoe for me.

The fact that they were suede did not deter me from the purchase and I happily bought them and then immediately went home to model them with all the outfits I thought would have looked good with a cute yellow shoe.




I mean look at them! Could they be more precious?

So for Mothers Day, I put together a lovely springy ensemble- that consisted of a black and white graphic print smock top, black short sleeved cardigan, dark jeans and my new yellow cuties. They were everything I hoped for and more.

When I arrived at my parents house, everyone was sitting outside with the dog, basking in the sun. I, precisely after modeling my new shoes again for my mom, took it upon myself to plop down on the grass and rough house with the dog.

Let's re examine that statement. I got on the damp grass with my new SUEDE light colored shoes and basically rolled around repeatedly.

WHO DOES THAT!? ONLY AN IDIOT!

Yeah so my awesome new shoes that I searched high and low for , for almost a year, are riddled with grass stains and barring some secret formula for removing grass stains from suede? I am pretty much out of luck.

I am consoling myself with that old adage. How does it go again? It's better to have loved and lost an adorable yellow shoe than to never have had an adorable yellow shoe at all?

10 comments:

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Oh girl. Here's what to do: get a thing called a "suede cleaning block" - its basically a big eraser that you rub into the stain. It disintegrates but should get the stain out. Then brush the shoe with a suede brush.

Or, maybe bring the shoes to a shoe expert/cobbler. There's a good one at Cambridgeside Galleria that's saved many a pair of shoe for me. My other suggestion would be to call a good dry cleaner who has experience with cleaning leather and/or suede. Good luck!

Nicky said...

Oh no! I totally feel for you!
Last year I spent all my free time hunting down this retro looking navy-with-white-polka-dot dress(in my size) that I'd been lusting after. I finally scored it, wore it once (to my bridal shower). I threw it in the wash that night, and proceeded to shrink it beyond all recognition. (Anyone know a 4 year old in need of a fabulous retro look?) Of course the stores stopped carrying that dress immediately after I shrunk it. RIP - Perfect Dress. )o:

RED said...

oh my gosh. those shoes are FABULOUS. Love! Good luck with the recovery process!! Let us know how you make out!

Suz said...

Have you tried a suede brush? Also, if self cleaning doesn't work you can bring it to the shoemaker/cobbler. I had a pair of (I thought) destroyed suede shoes and they were able to rehab them. Good luck.

Norwego said...

Can I recommend these? They're all the rage with pregnant teens.

http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jamie_lynn_pregnant_heels_long.php

Me said...

If it weren't so tragic I would laugh out loud.

RIP

Alisa said...

Oh the humanity!

Sarah said...

Ulli I sense some sarcasm. I will be seeing you on Friday OUI?

kim said...

oh noes. and i just left a message on flickr about how cute they are [or were...] :(

Random Musings Of My Life said...

Wow its as if it happened to me.. I am so devastated for you... Can you go back and buy another pair?