Pages

Friday, April 18, 2008

Find This Guy a Wife

Yesterday at work, a man walked into my office to deliver some flowers to a coworker. He paused at the front desk after delivering the bouquet, gazed at our receptionist (so far not too weird, she is lovely) and then said to her "I love black women, and I am looking for a wife".

???

He then whipped out a 2 page bio of himself with his photo and the heading $2000 REWARD and went on to expound about how he really wants a wife and has a lot to offer and is even offering a reward if she or someone she knows would be into marrying him.

When she told me this story I was a little skeptical BUT lo, he has a website:

http://www.marrydave.com/1.html

I encourage you to check it out. And if you know anyone in need of a husband send them Dave's way and then maybe we can split the reward.

22 comments:

Ladybug's Picnic said...

O M G.

My favorite line is: "She's got to like to do drive trips"

That just made my entire day.

Mandy said...

Poor Dave. I think he may be going about this the wrong way. The website--it's off-putting but sort of sweet at the same time. Don't you know someone you could hook him up with????

Meg said...

I beg to differ. I prefer "some extra weight is not a problem if it's somewhat FIRM."

Also, what is a girl-woman? Does he mean girl OR woman, or is that like a seventeen-year-old?

Anonymous said...

He's a freak!! But I sure could use $2,000...

~jeannie

Melissa said...

That is hilarious! Why doesn't he just use match.com or something if he's having a hard time meeting someone?

Sarah said...

I find it charming in a weird way because any woman who read that site and was like "hell yes" would probs be the perfect woman for him!

Nicky said...

LOL. Poor Dave. 'Lil bit creepy, though...
"firm in some places, soft in others"? Ick.

La Vida Cocina said...

You made my day by sharing this! I was alternating between gasping laughter and horrified eye-widening. Just wow.

These 3 little gems will stick with me:
"Holding hands - even in public"
"I like peasant tops (off the
shoulders)"
"I DON'T NEED VIAGARA! ;) "

Thanks for that very helpful background info, Dave!

I'm thinking maybe e-harmony would reject this dude, so he could try craigslist??!

Caitlin said...

SHUT. UP.

And Sarah, I completely agree with you. The one woman who read it and is all over it...is probably The One Woman.

GO DAVE!
SUPA SUPA SUPADAVE!

Just A Girl said...

speechless

Britt said...

That just made my day...

I loved the Eagles quote,
"one of these nights," my friend Dave, one of these nights!

carrotpenis said...

Only semi-divorced, I pray this isn't me in 8 years.

Alisa said...

You have to respect his honesty. Not sure what he has against real estate agents. Maybe his ex-wife was one. The whole thing is sad and hopeful at the same time.

Sarah said...

Alisa as usual you hit the nail on the head.

Rebecca said...

Poor Dave... he's just a guy who's looking for a lady with "fla-vah", and openly comfortable w. the fact that he doesnt need Viagra.

Sounds to me like he's trying really hard to get his own reality show: "Marrying Dave: Warm, Fuzzy, and Firm!".

Quick, someone call E! or MTV. Instead of splitting a finder's fee - you may hit the reality show jackpot!

Jill said...

This definitely might be a guy who showed up at my bar tonight trying to woo his ex back with lilies and was unsuccessful in doing anything other than making her cry and look uncomfortable. As one of her friends said,trying to get someone back with death flowers is just a sign that something is off.

Randall said...

That's crazy! But I give it to the guy for being proactive!

Becky said...

That is hilarious!

Hey maybe I need to do that! But my reward would be an open bar at my wedding reception!

natalie said...

oh girl, i'm passing this on to all my single friends!! haha

Andy said...

Sarah,
You know how I feel about this.

But, I just wanted to say, I can't believe no one picked out this:

"I am very playful & frisky, irreverant, and like some erotica."

Is that okay to put out there before the first date? See, I think that's my problem- no "getting to know you". No mystery. So trashy.

Editorgirl said...

Now I've heard everything!

abby said...

so stumbled upon your blog today and today's entry was great. it made me want to read more from you :) of course i checked out his website and well i kind feel bad for the guy! best of luck to him and thanks for the laugh!!

abby