In Which I Make You NOT Miss Apartment-Living

Adam and I are Old Fucks

I am the first person to admit it (he is still kind of in denial,), but the truth remains, we usually don’t go out late on weeknights, and instead for the most part are in bed by 10 watching Nick at Night so we can be up at 6AM the next day. If we had a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed the image would be complete.

Now, our downstairs neighbors are also members of the Fuck Family, but rather than being Old Fucks they are Don’t Give a Fucks. They are young, brash, and blast their thumping loud crappy music ALL EVENING LONG and on the weekends pretty much ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG.

Now, as you may have surmised, apartment building goings-on generally don’t bother me until they begin to affect my sleep (like, say, a super obnoxious car alarm that BTW went off at 10PM last night). I need my sleep. Being overtired at work just does not do since I am barely detail oriented enough to survive on a cogent, well rested day, let alone a groggy and stupefied day. So I have been dealing silently with the fact that most evenings after work their music is so loud that it shakes the furniture in the living room. Or that the guy in the bedroom below our bedroom thinks working out at 10PM while blasting his shitty testosterone rage rock is awesome. Adam and I, though we are old fucks, are not yet crotchety so we usually won’t go down and knock on their door unless it’s after 11PM and to be honest they do always shut it off when we ask them too.

But is it asking too much for them just to NOT play their music that loud at all. I mean if you want to implode your ear drums that’s fine but do you have to make my couch* vibrate while you do it? Or can you at least blast some Frank Sinatra or Pink Martini once in a while?

In any case last night, when the music started blaring at 1AM and Adam had to go down yet again to tell them to please for the love of god STFU, I wondered if it would be tempting fate to get my landlord involved.

On one side of the problem we have the fact that as Don’t Give a Fucks, who knows what they would do if the landlord told them they had a noise complaint. They would probably know it was us, and that would also open the door for them to narc us out when they see fit.

On the other side though, it’s nice that they do turn down the music when we ask but having to ask is ANNOYING. And disruptive to our sleep. And these are young men who I think have not lived in an apartment before and I think it would behoove them to learn that you have to respect your neighbors enough to let them sleep.

Christ I really am old.


*When you read that did you think it said crotch? I totally did. Yet I left it in.