A Love Story For The Ages (13 and Up)
I have officially seen the weirdest movie ever.
I have seen my share of odd films in my time, mostly because in the absence of anything actually GOOD on TV, something bizarre will usually suffice.
This masterpiece is called "Passion In the Desert" and while yes, this sounds like the title of a Harlequin Romance Novel (which, if we are being honest is what drew me to it), it is not your average romance.
Mainly because it involves a man....and a leopard.
While I was clicking through the channels on a lazy Sunday, I happened upon this movie in progress not on a sketch PPV channel as you might expect but on the Independent Film Channel. The description of the movie read "A tender relationship develops between a Napoleanic soldier lost in the desert and a female leopard. As their journey goes on, a fiery passion grows between them".
Uhhh....fiery passion? Between a Napolean-era soldier and a leopard?
Obviously this I HAVE to see.
And before you get your beastiality hopes up as I did (What? I read Faulkner.), the movie is rated PG-13 which further intrigued me. How would one show a "passion" between a man and a leopard without at least an R?
The answer to the question played out over the next hour and a half. And as it is with all weird movies, I was drawn in and could not look away. With basically no dialogue other than the soldier speaking to the leopard who, weirdly, did not speak back - the main action of the film is was surprisingly like any good old romance
Man and Leopard meet
Man and Leopard don't like each other at first
Leopard brings Man meat
Man and Leopard fall in love
Man and Leopard basically go to second base.
Leopard leaves Man for other Leopard
Man strips naked and paints himself to look like a leopard
Man saves Leopard from other Soldier by killing Soldier
Man Kills Leopard.
Man Takes Bath and Puts Clothes Back On.
That is some must see TV right there, if you ask me! Especialy when Leopard returns from her tryst with Other Leopard and the soldier asks her, in a hurt tone while sulking in a cave "Where have YOU been?".
Seriously!
You will definitely want to set your DVRs/Tivos next time it's on.
Who needs The Lion King when you have The Leopard F*cker?
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24 comments:
I guess I totally missed this one. What a creepy yet compelling premise.
I'm so going home and Tivoing this.
This is the most mental thing I have ever heard of. *sets DVR*
haha PPP, "creepy yet compelling" is the perfect description.
I am at once terrified and intrigued... mostly terrified.
OH MY GOD. I think that is all I can say right now!!
How fascinating.
Thats all I have to say.
PJ's and my favorite weekend pastime is getting pizza, a bottle of wine, and selecting the most craptacular movie we can possibly find free On Demand. We sit there, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 the whole thing. This just might have to make our list. LOL.
One question...why would the man save the leopard only to kill it at the end? Or is the answer to that the very reason I should watch it?
what. the. fuck.
Well he didn't MEAN to kill her, but he was insanely jealous of the other leopard. A crime of passion, as it were
:-P
How did this not get a wide release?
mk
now that is the question of the day!
"Crime of passion..."
I LOVE IT. And as luck would have it, I GET that channel on my landlord paid cable. Score.
Wow. I'm stunned into silence. (wanders off to look for bits of the leopard movie on youtube...)
I have seen this movie at least 15 times. It is on IFC every single weekend. It gets weirder with each watching. I notice something new every time. It makes me feeldirty but I can not. turn. away.
you know what this means don't you? Passion in the Desert dinner party!! I also think a good drinking game would be every time you see a private part, human or leopard, you do a shot. oui?
That movie sounds hysterical and creepy at the same tme. Might be fun to watch while drunk haha
I totally LOL at the last line!
You should TOTALLY have a leopard party. And everyone has to come dressed in leopard print. LOL.
haha can you imagine?
"Please come dressed as either a Leopard or a Napoleanic Soldier."
I would have to create a new cocktail, the Beastialitini!
Would you have to rim your glasses with fur?
OMG. That is just wrong.
So wrong.
And on so many levels....!
YES! Furlined martini glasses! But the fur should be along the round of the stem - not the rim.
But the glass could be leopard. (I actually have some!)
You could call it the Cat-ini. Or the Leopardtini. Or just "Meow".
i think i sense the theme of the next Blog Girls meet up!
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