Sweet Justice
Picture this.
I am on Route 128 North in Braintree, about to begin my morning commute. Now, at this portion of the highway driving in the breakdown lane is prohibited, and it says so on several signs. No Driving In The Breakdown Lane. Driving In The Breakdown Lane is Prohibnited. Get The Fuck Out Of This Lane.
We get it.
Well, SOME of us do.
So there is an accident further up the highway and traffic is pretty much gridlocked. I could have just turned my car off and hung out, so seldom did I have to step on the gas. I was in the far right lane since traffic is so stuffed it doesn't make sense to move over.
So this gives me the perfect vantage point to take in some highly infuriating Driving Douchebaggery. As we all sit gridlocked on the road, certain persons decide "You know what, forget these suckas" and slide out onto the breakdown lane and COAST down it at high speeds only to try and sneak back on further up the road, so as to avoid sitting in as much of the traffic as they can that all of us are sitting in.
And I tell you, I wished SO HARD that one of the jerks who were doing this would just try to get in front of my car pulling that shizz. I would lay into them with a horn-tooting and finger waving vengeance like had never been seen. But alas, my opportunity did not come and as I watched these people whizzing by in the breakdown lane the law abiding public is prohibited from driving in, I felt the rage we have all known, we who drive amongst the Massholes (and who are Massholes ourselves but that is neither here nor there).
So as I glowered in my car, inching along the highway, I wondered how come these people never get theirs. I would love to get into that lane and speed past all this traffic but I could never bring myself to do it. So I sat and tried to console myself with the fact that I was a good person. I decided to save up my good driving karma to assuage mild pangs of guilt next time I cut someone off.
Ten minutes later, when I had driven oh, a half a mile, I was greeted with a sight that made it ALL worth it. The shimmering blue and white lights of a cop car. With three of the cars that had been speeding past everyone pulled over on the side of the road, in the very lane they had been driving illegaly in moments earlier.
Victory was mine!!
I could not stop myself from gleefully smiling and giving each of them the thumbs up as I inched past.
Immature? Probably.
Awesome? Most definitely.
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17 comments:
I like to pull out into that breakdown lane just a little bit - maybe more so these jerks can't zip by quite so fast. Not smart - I know but I feel your pain - hate those kind of peoples!
Absolutely fantastic!!!! I love it when that happens. You feel like it's your own personal reward for following the rules. LOL
Sometimes the good guys don't finish last! Massholes ... I love it!
That made me feel good and I wasn't even in the traffic.
haha that "drive in the middle" idea is BRILLIANT. definitely my kind of action.
and i believe the Maine version of "Masshole" is Maine In The @ss.
:-P
That is awesome! I HAAAATE when people do that and am so glad they got theirs.
YES YES! I hate that so much. I NEVER let them in. I scream "fuck you you fucking fuck!" as i wave my fist.
This is one, of many, of my, most shining moments.
I do each and every one of the things you've all mentioned: pulling partially into a lane, the finger wagging, the cursing and screaming. And, I do it in *Hell-Ay*
LMAO by far the funniest thing I have heard all day. Especially as I sit in my boring azz statistics class. Glad I'm not the only one who sits and watches ppl get pulled over. . .and then my heart smiles
now that must've felt great to see! I would have done the same thing - I do though, pull half way in the extra lane to prevent people from passing. I drive a big old bronco that's made of all steel, I'm kind of daring people to hit me, (then I'd get good insurance money) but, I haven't been hit, and rarely get passed either. It's one of the good things of driving a big crappy SUV.
Oh how I love that kind of justice!! A good friend of mine has an excellent story about how her husband got back at (legally) a Masshole, but unfortunately it is too long of a story to share here. Thanks for sharing yours!!
i LOVE stories about revenge against massholes! can you please email me the story? :-)
YES! Thumbs up - totally appropriate. I cannot stand when people do things like that - bad drivers - arghhH!
Did you get stuck in the horrible traffic last night? It was probably due to some asshat like the your masshole breakdown zingers.
oh my god YES. it was frigging awful. i left Newton at 4:15 and didn't get to Braintree until 5:40. GOOD TIMES.
hahhaha, I totally subscribe to the whole "payback is a mofo" theory. :)
Some people are just idiots that don't belong on a bicycle, let alone behind the wheel of a car.
This just resonated with me. There is nothing quite like the glee that overcomes you when you see someone who was blatantly violating the law actually suffer the consequences. Too many times I, too, have had to console myself with good karma thoughts. This entry was so spiffy that I had to read it out loud to my husband, as he has a special hatred for the emergency lane lowlifes that exist in mass quantities in Houston. You go girl!
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