The Pink Shoe Diaries

"People are MEAN".
- My friend Diana at the mall last night.

She was not lying. The holidays may be about giving but holiday shopping is about bitching. Being the procrastinator that I am, I saved all my shopping for this week (You think that's bad? in 2002 I did all my holiday shopping on Christmas Eve at the Pru. I still have the scars). Anyway, as I drove through the vortex of cars in the South Shore Plaza parking lot I knew what I was getting into; I knew it would be nuts. What I didn't know is how evil people would be. I have not heard that many horns blaring since the Morrisey Ave Bridge got stuck in upright postion and someone apprently started a rumor that if you honked, it would go down. After (barely) escaping from the lower levels of the garage I finally found a spot on the top floor, after a Hummer finally realized he was not going to fit in a space that my car, a Civic Coupe, barely fit into.

And then there was the woman who hit me with her bag because I had the nerve to walk quickly past her slow-moving ass. I mean literally said something along the lines of "No you don't!" and HIT me with her bag. I only hope there was something fragile was in it.

Or what about the woman in The Gap who was screaming at the manager for not letting her return a stained (and clearly last season) sweater. Who said to her "Who the fuck do you think you are", and stomped her feet more times than I could count.

And then there were hordes teenagers just HANGING around, blocking walkways, playing hackeysack (I did not know people still did that), yelling about god knows what and feeling pretty good about pissing everyone off. I have an announcement: Between December 18th and December 23, the mall is for SHOPPING and I mean serious shopping. Not for loitering or being a pain in the ass. Those kids are just lucky I gave my pepper spray to Jill a few years ago.

And there was shoving and yelling and cursing and all the things that have come to signify Christmas shopping at the mall, including an incredible amount of large barking dogs (It was "Take your Pet's picture with Santa night) and security guards trolling around on Segway scooters. I was lucky to make it in and out of there in a little over an hour, since I only had a few things to pick up.

Oh well. 'Tis the season.

In any case between the mall and the few other shops I stopped at last night, I have a good chunk of my shopping done. And after a quick stop at Fuji for dinner, I stayed up late and wrapped every last thing and put it under the tree. All that's left now is gift certificates and an epic trip to the liquor store (for myself, clearly I need it)