The Pink Shoe Diaries

Is there anything more annoying than a bartender who ignores you?



I think not.

I normally don't have a problem getting a bartender's attention since I have my money out, quick drink orders ready and I always tip at least $1 a drink. The only time I really have a problem is at gay clubs because they seem to have a No Visible Pecs, No Service policy at these joints which is fine because I can send a male friend up for my cocktails if need be. Or I can through a hissy-queen fit which sometimes works equally as well.

I also find that super hot female bartenders are sometimes a little to preoccupied contending with the male-drink buying population to get a girl a drink hastily. I don't blame them, and I don't hate. This is also another case where I may get a male friend to order me a drink, or even some random male. I have definitely been in situations where I find myself saying "If you get the bartender's attention for me I will buy your drink". It works, and I would rather pay for an extra drink than wait 20 minutes for mine.

But every so often there is the ultimate conundrum: being shunned by a non-hot female bartender at a non gay-club.

It boggles the mind.

Last night at a bar in Cambridge, the non-hot female bartender, dressed in prairie garb might i add, just was NOT having me at all. It was probably my own fault. I had the nerve to ask "Can I start a tab" to which she replied "Obviously". And while she was forced to take my first drink order as I was handing her my credit card, she made it clear when I came up again 20 minutes later that she was all set with my requests.

The bar at this point was not that crowded, there were open seats and most people seated already had a drink. So I waited patiently for the bartender to finish up with her previous customer and come to me since I was the only person clearly waiting. But no, instead she walked past me to the other end of the bar and asked some people if they were all set for drinks. Thinking maybe she forgot I had a tab and only responded to money I got my cash out and put it in front of me and when she walked by again I leaned forward but this time she went to the crowd of boys at the end of the bar and asked them if they needed anything.

At this point I am like "WTF".

So my friend Dara appears at one end of the bar and within a minute the bartender is over there asking her what she needs. At this point I of course am in "Can a sista get a drink?" mode and am seething the seethe of she who has not had a fresh gin & tonic in 20 minutes.

I turned to the guy sitting next to me and was like "Are you kidding me?: I have been up here for at least 15 minutes and she will NOT take my drink order". And he told me "You should get her attention. Say "Excuse me" or something next time she is down here"

So I did and my "Excuse me" was met with the deadliest of deadly stares. No I Didn't.

I quickly retreated and told the guy his advice had failed. Luckily she asked him a moment later if he would like anything and he pointed at me and said "She's ahead of me" and I am all "You're damn right!" and ordered TWO gin & tonics so as not to have to subject myself to this ridiculousness again.

So Lord knows what I did to offend her but next time I see a prairie-looking bitch behind the bar I will know that I better send someone else up for my drinks.